......

Status facebook hari ini :

" Unee Adisti semakin susah untuk percaya sama orang dan semakin banyak orang yang tak mau percaya.Dan,semakin banyak juga orang - orang yang melakukan satu hal ,lalu (SOK) menghakimi saat orang lain melakukan hal yang sama.Contoh : Orang-orang bermuka dua yang (SOK) ngatain orang lain yang sejenis. Semoga anda terkena flu babi. "

tiba tiba dia muncul di facebook chat........

him : kenapa kw dek?ngomong ma abang kalau ada masalah :)

him : hahahahha :)

me : ha ?

me : hahaha..knp pulak kau tiba2 muncul,ngomong gitu ?

him :statusmu yang bilang gt kok...:)

me : ooo..

me : gpp. hehehe. jijik aja ama org2 kek gitu. sok ngatain org,sendirinya kek gitu.

mending cem awak. kalo emang ngomongin org,ya bilang aja. kl emg bikin salah,ya ngaku aja.

him : mksudmu sapa?

me : beberapa org yg ada disekitarku. hehehe :)

me : ...dan yg bisa membaca status itu pastinya. hahaha

him : aku tun????

him : ehh aku yun?

me : bukanlaaahhhh

me : hahahahaha

me : kau ini pun

me : cem sering kali kita ketemu

me : hahaha

him : ahh kw pun buat aku kaget aja, soalnya aku bisa baca statusmu..hehehe

me : ratusan orang yg ada di friendlist ku pun bisa baca,lan..tp gak org tu juga yg kumaksud. gak semuanya,mksdku..

me : hehehe

me : kawan kantor aku nyaaaa

me : :))

him : ohhhh alhamdulilah ya.

me :hahahah

him : kw abis nangis ya yun?

me : .........

me : kok tiba2 nanya gitu kau ?

him : ??????????

me : aku nanya kau,*beep*...kok tiba2 nanya gitu kau ?cem abis kau liat aku nangis tadi. hehe

him : aku tau kw bukan sebentar yun,udalah.

me : tsahhh..hahaha

me : dan kau juga harusnya tau kalau aku jarang mau mengakui kalo aku sedang atau habis, nangis. :)

him : hahahahaha...:)

me : tapi,terima kasih sudah bertanya,*beep*. hehe lagi dimana kau ? tumben ol malem2 ?

him : sami2..tumben???aku uda abuse ol truzzz

me : abuse ? cok pelan2 ngetiknya,*beep*. haha

him : mksudnya kecanduan yun, salah ya????

me : hahahaha ... harusnya " addict " , *beeep* . abuse itu berarti dianiaya kau. gagagagagaga

him : ya mksudnya aku dianiaayaa juga yun...

me : hahaha ..... kdrt lah yaaa

him : yun aku cabs dulu ya....baik2 kw.cieee tua kali bahhhhh...:(

---------the end -----------

aku benci karena kau (masih) bisa tau aku begitu baik.aku benci karena kau masih baik padaku.

mungkin,istrinya tiba tiba dateng.

HAHAHA.

#38 : Lose You

Aku telah sampai di akhir yang entah kapan dimulai. Ditinggal berdiri,sendiri,mencari yang entah apa. Aku selalu punya kuasa untuk merusak semua yang ada disekitarku. Kutukan,mungkin. Sempat membuatku malas untuk memiliki. Atau -- setidaknya, merasa memiliki. Itu hanya media yang membantuku menggali lubang yang akan membuatku terperosok.

Entah rasa macam apa yang telah kau berikan ini.Dan sebelum aku diberi waktu untuk mencari definisi,
kau menghilang.
Lagi lagi aku merusak.
Padahal aku belum memiliki.
Masih merasa --- memiliki.

Banyak hal yang masih belum aku mengerti. Jangan dulu bicara tentangmu. Coba mulai dengan diriku sendiri. Denganmu,aku merasa tidak harus mengerti apa pun. Aku hanya harus tertawa. Karena kau selalu bisa membuatku tertawa. Walau dalam hitungan per sekian detik. Mungkin karena itu aku menyukaimu. Terlalu,bahkan. Aku merasa,dengan bisa mengertimu,aku juga bisa -- sedikit,mengerti diriku sendiri.Nantinya.

Hatiku berkata, apa yang terjadi kemarin -- canda tawa tak jelas itu -- tidak akan terulang lagi.
Karena, sekali lagi, aku telah kehilangan.
Tepat di saat aku mulai -- merasa -- memiliki.
Aku tak akan marah jika ditinggalkan.
Aku hanya benci ditinggal tanpa alasan.
Aku hanya perlu tahu,
kenapa ?

I don’t need a better thing,
I’d settle for less,
It’s another thing for me,
I just have to wander through this world
Alone.
[ Pete Yorn ]

...it's scary.

So, I took this quiz on facebook a couple of days ago -- I think. And, so far, I think this is the MOST accurate results. Although the (five) questions gave me a headache, because there were like one question being asked FIVE times. Oh dear.. but, like I said, it's pretty accurate. It....scares me. I'll bold some accuracy on this result. It's just......so true.

Unee completed the quiz "What does the week you were born say about you?"
with the result
The Cusp of Oscillation – Cancer/Leo Cusp July 19-25.

You are a complex person who is not easily read [ Yeah.So don't try to get my attention by saying,you know me. Because, seriously,you don't ]. You are resistant to emotional manipulation. You have a contrasting personality. You are efficient and are able to complete tasks. You love to be on the cutting edge of innovative projects and activities; you’d rather be in the thick of the battle rather then sit on the sidelines [ routines !! MY GOD !! Routines is one of the many ways that could make me commit suicide ]. You crave excitement and need to meet challenges dauntlessly. You are calm under fire. You have extreme urges and have an unconscious drive for near-death experiences [ thank you,Rini, for pointing this out. HAHA. I heart you ! ]. You need security and dependability but can bore easily and hanker for excitement and change. You have a wide palette of emotional and sexual expression and express your desires over a wide variety of partner types [ yeah..types are just...so..boring. Like just eating a chocolate flavored ice-cream when there's like ten thousand more to choose from. But, a sense in art and a good sense of humor is a MUST ]. You can be faithful to your mate as long as they hold your attention and can be accepting, open and understanding [ Amen to that ! ].

Strengths: Morally Courageous – Exciting – Dauntless.
Weaknesses: Manic Depressive – Addictive – Emotionally Blocked .

So yeah. I could bold-ed the whole result.But then again, where's the fun in that,right ?
I really,REALLY,need to meet the person who made this quiz.
haha.

#37 : Between The Lines

I like you.Very much.You make me laugh.You surprise me.You're -- somewhat , silly.But at times, nice. Your odd ways of communicating. Random jokes and nicknames. Spontanity. Absurd but comforting. I've let myself to admire you and enjoys your company. Which, I shouldn't be. It took me a while to find a pinch of comfort that I'm feeling right now. Just a pinch, because I'm still dragging my steps to walk away from that ghost of the past. I'm scared to take a step forward but stuck and can't take a step backwards. This is killing me. I just want to tell you. Did you know that I've typed down the words on that little chat window ? But I deleted it. I'm too tired for all this. Maybe I should go back to my little world where everything is considered a lie.

I thought i thought i was ready to bleed
That we'd move from the shadows on the wall
And stand in the center of it all
Too late two choices to stay or to leave
Mine was so easy to uncover
He'd already left with the other
So i've learned to listen through silence

[ Sara Bareilles - Between The Lines ]

#36 :Stopped

I tried to mess with my own rules. Tried to violate the time I've given to myself. Tried to compromise with the seven days limit. And here I am now. Embarrassed and confused. And I already -- sorta, got used to him being around. Virtually. Which is dumb, yes I know. No need to remind me. I should've stopped last Tuesday. I should've known better than to carry on. I should've known better than having high hopes about stuff like "this". Shouldn't be letting myself get too carried away with all the tacky,corny,lame things we talked about and what he did.
I always mess things up. Intentionally or unintentionally. Maybe I'm jinxed or something. Or ,maybe, I''m just -- simply,repulsive. It's for reason like that I seldom think that I should just not try at all. Just another waste of time.

I. SHOULD.HAVE.KNOWN.BETTER !!!
and.walked.away.while.i.still.can.before.it's.too.late.
*sigh*