pablohoney

A Week's Recap

2011-01-25T22:02:00.001+07:00

Hello and welcome to you all. How have you all been? Peachy, I hope. Up for another rambling session from yours truly? No? Then what the hell are you doing here?
Hm.. anyway. What's been going on with me for the last 7 days?
I - well, we - have been spending a lot of time talking about stuff related to April.
Dia udah pesen tiket. Jadwalnya udah di forward ke gue. Masih berasa ga percaya aja sih. Semalem waktu ngomongin soal tanggal dia bakal berangkat dan lain-lainnya, tiba-tiba dia bilang kalo sebulan yang lalu itu pertama kali dia ngubungin gue lagi. Gue kaget bukan karena dia bener, tapi karena dia inget. Dan gue juga jadi mikir, dalam sebulan dia udah beneran mesen tiket aja gitu. Kayak ngerasa, lo bener - bener gak bakal bisa tau apa yang bakal terjadi. Dan gimana waktu bisa berjalan begitu cepat.
Tapi di satu sisi, gue juga masih agak parno. Takut kalo ntar bakal ada sesuatu yang ngerusak rencana ini. Gak tau ya, gue sih udah terbiasa untuk gak hanya mikirin sisi baik aja, tapi juga sisi buruknya. Kayak parno-an gitu. Eh, bukan parno juga sih. Lebih ke .... waspada aja. Eh, bukan juga kayaknya ya? What the hell am I trying to say exactly? haha. Aduh, hilang fokus banget deh ini. Maafkaaaan~

Oh iya. Gue juga akhirnya mutusin untuk gak nonton Java Jazz tahun ini.
Yeah, I know. I've been really excited about it since 2010. Especially when I found out Santana's gonna be performing.
Tapi gue butuh duitnya buat April. Tiket pesawat, etc. Jadi gue harus milih.
Sedih?
Dikit siiih... Jujur aja, gue ga tau kapan lagi bakal dikasih kesempatan untuk bisa ngeliat Santana, Sondre Lerche, Corrine Bailey Rae dan Fourplay. Tapi -- karena gue *harus* milih, gue milih April.
Akhirnya bisa ketemu dia bakal ngebuat gue lupa kalo gue batal ngeliat Santana.
Gue yakin itu.
:)

Lagian, kalo pun gue ke Jakarta, gue bakal bisa ketemu Rini. Si bangke malah mau diving katanya. Ya buat apa jugalah gue nonton kalo abis itu ga bisa cerita - cerita ama dia soal kerennya penampilan musisi - musisi itu sambil ngebir?
Kayak taun lalu tuh.
Jadi ya udahlah. Ikhlas kok gue.
Hehehe.

Dan.. iPod gue rusak. Mati total. Pret!
Udah kayak orang bego aja deh gue di kantor, tanpa iPod. Terpaksa harus dengerin orang - orang yang ngobrol di sekitar gue. Yeah, I don't really like people. Especially when they're talking about shit.

Hm.. udah. Kayaknya itu aja deh.
Hope your week are better than mine.
:)

x

Hold You Own, Know Your Name....

2011-01-17T23:13:00.004+07:00

Why do I love Jason Mraz so much? Well, aside from his adorable geeky looks, he's a great person. As in personality speaking. And also a great writer. I don't care what other people says, for me, he's one of the best song writer ever. Just next to Thom Yorke.
His music is different and beautiful because he writes 'em from the heart. I think I can say that all of his songs has its own soul. Like, you know that he wrote them not just because he needed words to go along with the tunes. There's always going to be a message he's trying to give/share.

.... but look at me now....

[ The Sunshine Song ]

I haven't been world's most optimistic person. But when I listen to him, I can feel that there's still kindness in this world. And, whatever happens, it's just a phase in life that you'll eventually get through. Even sadness can be so beautiful with him. I don't know why.
There's been a lot of times when life just feels to heavy for me to carry. And when that feeling comes, all I have to do is listen to, " Details in the Fabric " or " The Remedy ".
Life doesn't automatically become light. It became lighter. Light enough for me to be able to take my steps again. Knowing that I'll get though this time too.

Tonight, I'm in that, " Details in the Fabric " spot again. Fighting the demons in me. Telling myself, everything's going to be alright. That, " it's just a fault of faulty manufacturing. "

This may be a little bit difficult for people to understand. This weird "connection" one is having with a certain musician and his music. His words. But I'm not asking you to understand. I'm just telling you. This is why I love him to bits. And why I think he's special.

So, tonight, I'm thanking you again for making such wonderful songs, Mister.
You might not know what kind of affect you are giving to the people that are listening to your music. But this one girl, would like to sincerely thank you for them.

And, of course, thank you to you too. For being there. For listening to my rambles and depressing personal life stories. How can I not be thankful for having you back in my life again? You too, have become a part in my tiny bit of optimism I got left in my life. In this world. You always have been. You're like a Jason Mraz that I can really talk to everyday. You can't sing and play the guitar tho'. But that's okay. Because you can always - ALWAYS - make me smile. More than Mraz. So -- there. WIN!
haha.
:)

PS : No, Jason. I'm not gonna be one of those crazy, psychotic, fan. I don't even know your home address. Yet. So -- don't worry.

Later, universe.

x

Pleasssseee?

2011-01-16T15:07:00.001+07:00

Katanya, dia mau ke Indonesia.

Secepatnya.

Tahun ini.

SENANG!

haha.

Nggak tau ini kayak apa mau ngejelasinnya.

Mau sok santai aja sih dari semalem. Takut tiba - tiba jadi berantakan kemana - mana lagi kayak kemaren.

Tapi bohong banget kalo katanya gue nggak ngarepin setengah mati.

Bohong. Banget.

Gue nggak bakal minta apa - apa lagi deh tahun ini.

Um.. oke, ralat.

Gue masih bakal minta ke Jakarta buat Java Jazz dan Java Rockin' Land supaya lancar - lancar aja. Tapi ya udah -- itu aja. Nggak bakal minta yang lain - lain lagi.

Nggak bakal minta gadget apa - apaan lagi deh tahun ini. Termasuk lensa buat Caspian.

|| Intermezzo ||

I don't think you've met my new boy toy -- Caspian. Yes, after wanting my own DSLR camera for 3 years and saving up for the last 4 months or so -- I finally have my own DSLR. I named him Caspian. Sejujurnya, gue pengennya Leica sih. Tapi, berhubung harga Leica ngebuat gue ngerasa harus ngejual harga diri dan setiap helai bulu yang ada di tubuh gue, jadinya -- batal. Canon aja deh. Hehe.

Soo... yeah. World, meet Caspian. Why Caspian? Because he's hot! It's a character played by Ben Barnes we're talking about here! You shouldn't even be asking me why.

------------ the end -------------

Jadi, boleh dong kalo gue minta supaya dia beneran dateng.

Boleh ya?

PLIS?!

Okay. I'll take that as a 'yes'.

Thank you, universe.

PS :

Ini yang suka baca blog gue dan ada di Jogja -- mudah-mudahan sih orang - orang *waras* yang gue kenal ya. Bukan satu psycho ( HE calls you 'psycho', by the way. Gue sih cuma terbawa aja.. Just thought you should know. ) yang --- yaaaah, begitulah.

But to be honest -- it's actually good for my ego. Knowing that someone, somewhere out there is trying so hard to be like me. Well, at least trying to make your tweets to sound like me. Pathetic but good for my ego. Kenapa gue gak pernah mention lo langsung? Karena gue ngerasa lo ga pantes buat gue mention.

Kenapa lo ga pernah mention gue langsung?

Karena gue yakin lo tau kalo lo gak bakal bisa menang kalo harus berargumen 'sehat' ama gue tanpa harus nyari simpati orang lain. Susah ketemunya dong, orang waras ngomong ama psycho.

Dan kalo yang gue bilang ga bener, ga perlu marah - marah loh yaaa.. Inget, gue selalu bisa dapet informasi tanpa harus mencari. Itu bedanya gue ama lo.

Nyet.

Yuuuuk~

2011-01-15T01:49:00.003+07:00

Ada cerita tentang cinta yang kembali.

Tentang rasa yang ternyata tak pernah pergi.

Tentang rindu yang akhirnya bisa diucapkan.

Lalu bersama yang masih menyenangkan.

Ada harap yang kembali muncul.

Beriringan dengan resah yang sama.

Tapi juga digenggam yakin untuk mencoba.

Genggaman yang lebih erat dari sebelumnya.

Ada senyum yang masih familiar.

Sorot mata yang masih menenangkan.

Senyum masih memberi rasa hangat.

Rasa yang belum beranjak.

Masa depan itu masih ada kamu.

Belum tergantikan yang lain.

Mungkin memang hanya untuk kamu.

Mungkin.

Kali ini harap hanya satu.

Semesta, jangan putar balik lagi arah kami.

Jangan lagi menambahkan dirimu, jarak.

Kali ini saja.

Aku hanya ingin bahagia.

Karena dia membuatku bahagia.

Bahkan tanpa dia harus berusaha.

Sesederhana itu saja.

[ Saya lagi mabok teh kotak ketika mengetik postingan ini. Mungkin jadi agak geli karena pake Bahasa Indonesia. Sengaja. Kalo pake Bahasa Inggris, ntar doi' ngerti. Saya malu. #eaaaaa

Sekian dan aura kasih. ]

07012011

2011-01-07T23:50:00.002+07:00

You know that feeling where you've been smiling all day but still can't get enough?

That thought, knowing that - this time - everything's going to be alright.

Maybe not permanently, but you're willing to settle for as long as you're given the time to enjoy it.

Like, everything is balanced again.

Where you know that you're not giving your trust to the wrong person.

That sense of security.

Safety.

Comfort.

And all other nice things you can think of.

That's what I'm feeling.

And what happened last night, that was just --- beautiful.

I can feel it.

It's kind of scary tho'.

But yes, beautiful.

"We'll make us alright :)"

We will.

We sure will.

2011-01-03T23:49:00.002+07:00

Okay. I've probably said this more than once, but I'll say it again :

When I have decided not to fuck with you, you'd better do the same. Or, I'll make you wish you did.

Eh, gue ga ngerti deh ya kenapa orang - orang tuh suka banget mancing emosi orang lain. Apalagi sejak ada media - media kayak Twitter gitu. Berasa bisa ngomong seenak perut, tanpa nge-mention.
Pengecut.
Udah murahan, pengecut pula.
Beli racun tikus, trus minum gih. Biar mati sekalian.

Kalo lo ngerasa terganggu karena sering ngeliat nama gue di timeline orang lain, ya maap maap aja. Bukan salah gue kan kalo gue ngetop. PUEH!
Gak perlu sok nyinyir - nyinyir deh. Kalo berani, mention aja. Soalnya gue kan gak follow LO ya.. Kurang suka sama timeline ababil yang kalo ngerokok aja harus di tweet sampe puluhan kali.
Terima kenyataan aja kenapa siiiik?

Whatever happens, I got what you wanted to get.
And, guess what, whore?
I didn't even have to work for it.
Unlike you.
Jadi ya udahlah.
Kasta lo beda ama gue.

Trus, tolong deh, ga usah sok mau ngumpulin simpati dari orang-orang laaah..
Gue selama ini yakin orang - orang yang di Jogja itu adalah orang - orang yang gak se-norak itu. Ya seenggaknya kalo diliat dari temen - temen gue yang anak - anak Jogja. Mereka sih pada pinter - pinter. Kreatif - kreatif.
Eh, tunggu.
Mungkin karena itu LO bukan temen gue.
SAMPAH SIH LO.

Dan tolong bilang juga ama temennya -- kalo pipisnya masih berdiri, berarti dia masih punya titit. Malu ah, laki - laki kok level sok tau nya itu lebih tinggi dari perempuan.
Ngurusin yang bukan masalah dia.
Dan gue gak kenal juga gitu loh ama dia. CIH!
Haus perhatian banget sih loooo, banciii!

Nah. Jadi ini, adalah posting terbuka untuk orang - orang yang ngerasa berhak untuk SOK berasa tau soal hidup gue dan SOK berasa kenal ama gue.
Mind you, due to my FAME, I will find out about things that *some* people are hoping I don't. So, just remember that. I know you don't have a brain to think, but I'm sure you'll find a way to remember just that.
Okay, whore?

Leave me the fuck alone. In every way possible.
If you want that guy, you can have him.
If you CAN.
If he WANTS you to.
Maybe you should 'sell' yourself cheaper.
See if that works.

This, will be my last.

1.01.2011

2011-01-01T22:27:00.001+07:00

Yeah. Happy New Year, folks.
New year's resolution? No. Not from me.
But - hey! - good luck to you and yours.

I do admit that I did a little reminiscing.
My 2010.
Hmmmm.

Let's start with the ---- worst.

I resigned from my old job. Which is sad. Because, honestly, I love that job. It was my first. I was hoping that it would last. But it didn't. Like most relationship, mine and my boss -- well.... we're just not on the same path anymore. So, rather than to force things and ended up hurting each other, I resigned. * Yes. It does sound like we're dating. But we're not.*
I lost a few of my good friends. At least they were. Friends that were with me from day one of my old job. No, it didn't happen because I resigned. It happened because, well --- I wasn't a good enough friend for them. And rather to tell me about it, they decided to tell each other about it. You get what I mean, right? Well, yeah. That's for not being a good enough friend. I guess.
I got sucker punched, twice. Emotionally. And it would be better if I just say that.

And the best :

Java Jazz 2010 and Java Rockin' Land 2010. Meeting friends. Some cool, fun and nice people. :)
Amanda Meirini Sucahyo aka @riniunyil. I don't know, Rin. I feel like -- this year, I've been thru' so many shit. SO MANY. And, although you're in Jakarta and I'm here, you're the one that was there. No matter how busy and caught up you were with work. Just to make the time to ask me how I was doing ---- that means a lot, Rin. So, thank you for being such a good friend. Everytime I think back about how we 'knew' each other, I can't help but laugh. Life sure is funny, yeah? I can only hope I've been just as good as friend for you, as you've been to me. :)
New job.
iPod and Tyler, my MacBook. Ah yes. You two are a blessing. :)
I got to know a person who I was admiring. Personally. FYI, I'm learning a lot from you without you even realizing. Yeah. I'm admiring you for a reason. And, I stand corrected. You are - actually - a nice person at heart. :)
You. The one that is back in my life. You're the cherry on top of my "surprise cake". :)

Yeah. Seeing from the two 'lists', I got more good things than bad things. But, I don't know. I just feel like last year's been quite a spin for me. I started it with one foot on the past. Then, I managed to put both feet on the present, moved on and opened myself to someone new. That someone happens to be a ----- oh, let it be just for me. And then, just when I managed to numb myself up, just give up on things, someone came back. Everything is different again. But slightly the same. I --- don't ---- know.

Like I said, I don't really do "resolutions".
But, I already know what I will try to do this year.
A couple of 'em are not easy. I'd pat myself on the shoulder if I can really do them.
One thing's for sure, I wanna care ------- LESS.
The fuck with people.

So yeah.
Happy new year, folks.
Let's face another 365 days ahead as best as we can.
It'll bruise you, but I'm sure -- it won't kill you.
Um... I hope.

PS : Thank you for the people who thought my previous post was nice and tweeted it. Thank you for the kind words via Twitter and Formspring. It's probably nothing to other people, but it always means something - a lot even - when people actually read and gives feedback about the ~~rubbish~~ stuff that I wrote. Thanks again. :)

x

Terima Kasih Timnas

2010-12-29T22:57:00.000+07:00

Ada banyak alasan kenapa kita harus berterimakasih pada Timnas.
Yang paling utama, mereka ngebuat gue ikutan nonton (beberapa) pertandingan mereka. Sebelumnya, males. Ga tau kenapa. Mungkin karena, buat gue, sepakbola Indonesia itu identik sama suporter ~~bodoh-tolol~~ yang rusuh. Tapi, AFF kali ini, ngeliat orang-orang yang pada heboh ngomongin dan baca berita kalo mereka mainnya bagus dan banyak menang, gue tertarik buat nonton. And I must admit, our team is pretty good. Hehe.

Malam ini, kita harus terima kalau timnas kalah dari Malaysia. They gave their best. I'm pretty sure Indonesia can see that. They were good, but - me, personally - will admit that Malaysia did play better. Their defense was FUCKIN' CRAZY!
They deserve to win.
So, congratulation ya Malaysia!
:)

Alasan lain kenapa kita harus berterimakasih pada timnas : the made us, Indonesians, unite.
Tanpa butuh hashtag apa-apa di Twitter. Tanpa harus ngibarin bendera di rumah. Tanpa kultwit. Tanpa apa pun kecuali prestasi.
For me, that's pretty awesome.
No. Correction.
That's FUCKING AWESOME.

#GarudaFightsBack jadi Trending Topic di Twitter.
For once, kita nyumbangin Trending yang bener-bener worth paying attention for. We don't mind if the world knows because we're PROUD!
If that doesn't give you - even the slightest - warm feeling in your heart, something's wrong with you, dude!

Gue jadi mikir. Semua euphoria itu, apa itu karena kita udah lama banget gak ngerasain apa yang dirasain selama beberapa minggu ini?
Rasa bersatu, rasa bangga pada Indonesia.
Karena selama ini, kita terbiasa dengan berita-berita jelek. Menteri-menteri taikucing. Parpol-parpol sampah. Pejabat-pejabat korup. Anggota-anggota dewan bodoh. Presiden yang........................... ah, sudahlah.
*melengos*

Gue ga masalah sama orang-orang yang sinis. Menganggap ini cuma sementara atau apalah. Gue juga dulu gitu kok terhadap suatu 'gerakan' nasionalis diwakilkan lewat sebuah hashtag. Kenapa yang ini nggak? Karena gue ngeliat prestasi. Bukti nyata. Dan gak ada motif untuk sekalian dagang.
*batuk kering*

Intinya sih, selain berterimakasih untuk prestasi dan - secara ga langsung - ngebuat Indonesia bersatu, gue berterimakasih karena mereka ngebuat gue *sedikit* yakin kalau sepakbola kita bisa lebih baik lagi. Ya tentu saja, Nurdin Halid harus dibuang sejauh mungkin. Kalau perlu, dia dimasukin tong sampah, trus tong sampahnya dibuang ke neraka. If we can get rid of that douche, I'm sure our football can do much better. And yes, I think we should KEEP Riedl.
Why? Maybe you can read this.

Jadi, terima kasih ya, Timnas!
Kalian ngebuat gue bangga. Bangga sebagai orang Indonesia? Mungkin. Sedikit. Tapi, lebih bangga karena - ternyata - gue punya timnas yang tidak gampang menyerah!
So it's not about the trophy, it's about the fight!
:)

PS : I think Bambang Pamungkas is cute. Kind of sexy. Why? He's a football player that COOKS and got an awesome taste in music. *blushes* Hell, couple of days ago he tweeted about listening to Jay-Z. F yeah, right?! haha.

AWESOME MATCH, GUYS!
We're proud!
:)

x

Well..

2010-12-28T23:38:00.005+07:00

Living the last few days of 2010. Excited? Most people are. I guess. Not me. New years are nothing but another 365 days in repeat, for me. It has nothing to do with starting over, a new beginning or any of those shit. If you want to start over, you can do it right now. Right this very second. You don't have to wait for the 1st of January every year.
*rolling eyes*
But I do have a few goals for next year. To have my own DSLR camera, that's number one. Number two would be, personal goals related to work. And, I want to travel next year. Somewhere far. Or maybe somewhere in Indonesia I've never been to. Just to get away for a while, basically.
BUT,
I'm sure my mom and dad got one more thing to add : for me to get married.
*deep sigh*
I don't really get the whole fuss about marriage. I don't hate it. I just don't *get* it.
Get it?

Yesterday, I talked to a guy from Canada on Omegle. Richard is the name. He asked me if I'm married. I said, "No."
He asked me, "Why?". For a second there I thought, "Why....NOT?"
I mean, why do people often HAVE to ask WHY after that answer to that question?
WHY?
I answered, "Just because. Hehe.." Then he said,"Not a fan of commitments huh?" I went,"WTF? HAHA!"
Okay, let *me* get this straight, people.
"Marriage" and "commitment" are two different, but slightly similar, things.
For *me*, I can just marry someone without having to feel committed. Like, if I ain't feeling it after a couple of months, file for a divorce.
While a commitment, that's....like, the base of it. People that are in a committed relationship will last longer. They won't give up easily. THAT is what being committed is all about.
I'm all for commitments. But marriage? Whoa. Let's take a few steps back. Breathe.
Most of my female friends are, like, I don't know --- obsessed (?) with marriage. It's kinda scary, you guys.
Then the Canadian asked, "Don't you want kids?". Well, yeah I do. But, Sir -- you don't have to be married to have kids, I answered him. He said,"True. But, is that okay in Indonesia?"
Alright.
Let me say this to you people, YES. It's OKAY to have kids without having to get married. You can adopt. Or, if you're pregnant and the douche that knocked you up doesn't want to take the responsibility, so be it. You'd be better off raising a kid without an irresponsible dick like that anyway.As long as you're financially secure, of course. Because, come on, that baby's gonna need food, clothing, education and a shit load of other things, right? And you, judgmental Indonesians, should just shut the fuck up and stop saying shit about single moms. Like, mind your own fucking business for once.
Clear? Good.

So, there you go. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be married. But I hope you got the most important essence of it, commitment. Because without it, hell -- you ain't gonna go far. And if you're in a decent committed relationship, don't feel -- somewhat -- intimidated by all the people around you that kept telling you, you *should* get married. Especially if you're planning to get married just to 'legalize' the sex.
Dude! Come on.
I know a lot of people who does that. The thing is, they only 'legalize' the sex with the spouse. But he/she thinks it's (also) fine to fuck - literally - other people besides the 'legal' partner. Consider that as another example of an uncommitted marriage. Not to mention me seeing and thinking of you as hypocrites.
*cough*
Oh.. I just remember. Our former President, Pak Habibie and (the late) Ibu Ainun's marriage? THAT is what I call a committed marriage. He didn't left his wife when she was ill. He didn't make that as an excuse to leave and find another woman - the younger the better - to shag. He didn't even leave her room while she was hospitalized.
Not - a - single - day.
Until her last breath.
THAT, my friends, is commitment.
That's what *I'm* looking for. Not just an expensive ring on my finger - altho' I won't say no to that - and a huge party/reception/whatever.
It's what happens after the party that counts.
You do what you want to do when you know you're ready to do it. Everything in your life is your choice.
YOU decide.

Right.
So, mom and dad, be easy on me, 'aight?

x

Hate Malaysia, MY ASS!

2010-12-27T20:38:00.002+07:00

So, here's the drift.
Indonesia versus Malaysia last night, right? The match was held at Bukit Jalil Stadium in Malayasia. Right?
Indonesia got suckered.
3-0.
RIGHT?!

Now. It's sport. It's a match. A football match. Soccer. Whatever you wanna call it. In the end, you'll need a winner, RIGHT?
So we lost. Deal with it. Don't be such a sore pathetic loser, Indonesians.
Come on.

Apalah itu segala caci maki ke Malaysia, hah?
Kampungan.

I knew from the very beginning that if we're playing against Malaysia, shit like this will happen. Even if we won, you'd probably gonna still be finding excuses just to diss them. You'll definitely gonna drag political issues too.
Oh YEAH YOU WILL.
Coz that's how most Indonesians roll.

Segala kebudayaan yang dicuri lah, TKI lah, inilah, itulah.
Taikucing lah.
Olahraga ya olahraga, woi!
Ga usah dibawa-bawa yang ga ada hubungannya.

Now, look. Quite a lot of people have told me that I have no sense of nationalism. *pffft*
Just because, I said I don't hate Malaysians for stealing our culture.
Why?
The fuck, man! You never gave a fuck before, and you got all pissed off and shit when it got stolen?
It's like, when you put your wallet on a table and not watch it, it's bound to be stolen.
You morons!
And after that, suddenly, all y'all starts loving Batik so much?
Oh. PLEASE.

TKI dianiaya di Malaysia.
Oke, maap nih ya. Nanya dulu gue, itu udah kejadian berapa kali sih?
Sekali? Dua kali? Sepuluh kali?
UDAH SERING TAUUUU!
Trus, pemerintah ngapain dong?
Ya marah-marah bentaran, trus abis itu cuek lagi.
yagitudeh~
Ya kalo lo yang di pemerintahan itu gak ngapa-ngapain, ya abislah itu TKI dianiaya disana.
Secara logika, siapa yang bego?
Yang cuma bisa marah-marah tapi ga ngambil langkah hukum untuk ngelindungin rakyatnya dong. Iya kan?
Jangan baru ngambil langkah hukum kalo rakyatnya udah digebukin, disiram air keras, dll deeeeh~
Okay, fine. Those Malaysians, the ones that was torturing them, are pure douches. But the ones that aren't taking firm action for that are the douchest of the douche.
Dan, kalau minjem istilah yang rada keren, itu kan ulah *oknum* Ya gak harus benci sama semua rakyat Malaysia juga kaleee..
Like, y'all got irritated when the international world said Indonesia is 'terrorist country' because of what that Amrozi dick - may his soul root in hell - and his friends did. The bombs and shit.
You're irritated because, you are - indirectly - considered just like those losers. When you are NOT.
For once, grow up, would you?

Malaysians used laser lights to distract our players?
Yes, THAT SUCKS.
Yes, THEY'RE DICKS.

BUT...
if you really think about it, they didn't do through the whole game yet we still lost the game. What does that tell you?
Our team needs to practice more. Less media time. And media should also spend less time with Kiki 'fuck-just-coz-she's-married-to-the-goalie-doesn't-mean-WE-need-to-know-what-SHE-thinks-about-things-ALL-the-fucking-time' Amalia.
And we need to tone down the spotlight on that Bachdim guy. Yeah, he's good. But not THAT good.
Me, personally, Bambang Pamungkas is still the best.
BEPE FTW!

So, the point is...
I'd be happier if we won last night. But we did NOT. Suck it up!
And it's not because the laser, the smoke, the whatever other excuses some people are making to justify the hatred.
We lost because our team needed more practice.
And, seriously, that #HateMalaysia thing on Twitter ... really, Indonesians?
You really want the whole fucking world to know that most of you are a bunch of sore losers?
REALLY?
Tsk.
You SAY you hate Malaysia, but you still fly with Air Asia.
You SAY you hate Malaysia, but you'd give your soul to go there when they're having their mid/end year sale.
Pathetic hypocrites.

Ya udah.
Gitu deh.
Malu aja gue ngeliat itu di Twitter. Pada kampungan. Udah kalah, kampungan pula.
Gue amat sangat berharap, timnas kita menang tanggal 29 nanti. Beneran.
Tapi kalo kalah dan harus ngeliat orang-orang kampungan itu memamerkan ke-kampungan mereka di Twitter, males banget daaaaah..
Kalo pun ternyata kalah, gue masih tetep bangga kok ama timnas.
Baru kali ini gue ngikutin mereka tanding. Nonton, dll.
Kalo kemaren kemaren, males. Cuma bakal ngeliat rusuh-rusuhnya aja. Tapi kali ini, nggak.
Gue bangga sama prestasinya.
Kenapa ga fokus kesitu aja sih?

Ini roman-romannya bakal dikatain sok pinter lagi deh. Ato ga nasionalis apalah taikucing gitu. 'serahlo aja sih. Blog, blog gue. I can write whatever I want. You don't share my point of view, thank you and move along.
No, I'm not pissed. Well, I am. But I'm more embarrassed than pissed.

PS : NURDIN HALID, you seriously should consider screwing yourself, man. We hate your guts.

x

Game of Cards

2010-12-25T02:13:00.002+07:00

Weird Christmas eve.
A surprising one.
Again, I have formspring to thank.
I guess.
Everything still feels surreal.
I don't know what I'm feeling right now. I know what I should be feeling. I told Rini what I thought I was feeling. But, apparently, there was nothing.
I'm not sure if that's bad thing, but I'm guessing it's not a good thing. Meh. I dunno.
I guess I am numb now.
But, I'll tell you this, it was nice talking to you again. To see your face again. The two things I thought would never ever EVER happen again. It took it two years to happen, but it's better than nothing, right?
And you know what, after all the shit I've been through for the last couple of months, you're (probably) the best thing that came out of it.
:)
And after thinking about all of those shitty things, I know that I should cry, at least once, over them. But I'm not. Even thinking about crying made me sick.
Ah well, I'll just take it as something good. I'm numb. Not being able to feel anything is always a good thing. Trust me.

Surreal.
Everything.
But, glad.
In a way.

Feel better soon.
Oh, and I'm glad you ended up liking Camera Obscura.
:D

x

The Strangers

2010-12-22T23:08:00.001+07:00

So, what have I been doing for the last week? Aside from being lazy, of course. Well, pretty much nothing. Nothing can be more fun than being lazy anyway, right?
Altho', I've been spending quite a lot of time omegle-ing. YES, I omegle. It's pretty fun actually. Yes, you'll see a lot of dicks, literally, flying all over the place and shit. But, you can always disconnect. And if you're lucky, you can really 'meet' cool strangers there.
Like, once, I met this kid. He was 16 or 17, not sure. And he can play guitar like, REALLY good. He gave his Facebook but I forgot to add and now I don't remember his name anymore. Tsk.
There was also these Turkish guys. Yes, plural. There were 4 of them. They were in a band. And I asked them to play me a song. They did. In a language that gave me no fucking clue what they were talking about. But it was nice. I mean, it was sang with an acoustic guitar. So, yeah. They were such jokers. Made me laugh 'til I cried.
I also 'met' a kid that looks a lot like Justin Bieber.
My idol.
Not.
I swear he looks so much like him, it was uncanny. I could steal one of his photo from his Facebook to prove it to you, but I think that's a bit unethical. So I won't. You just have to trust me on that one.
There's a couple of more decent people I met there. Funny, smart, and fun to talk to without asking me whether I wanna see their dicks or if I wanna show them my boobs, kind of guys.
One of them, this kid named Colin from NJ, gave me this video last night.

IT WAS SO FUNNY I ALMOST PEED MYSELF!
Oh, and it also made me fell in love with Andy Samberg. He's not a bad looking dude, yes I know. But knowing he can be THIS funny, goddammit! HAHAHA.
The ending of that video is E mothefuckin' PIC!
ROFL.
I will watch this video when I'm having a bad day and I will think of you, Colin.
HAHAHAHA.

One more. This guy Kevin who is in a band called The Cabovers. His band actually sounds good. Something I might like. You can click the link and give a hear if you want.
So yeah, that's basically how I've been spending my days in the last seven days. Meeting strangers, talking about stuff and shit. Which is kinda fun. So the fuck with what you might be thinking.

Christmas is coming and I ain't feeling excited at all. Just a little FYI there. But I am excited for my friend Colin there. Coz he's getting a webcam for Christmas. Why am I excited? Because he is. And I'm a good, supportive, friend.

x

Indonesia and ALL Its Fanaticism. And Shit.

2010-12-15T22:21:00.001+07:00

Barusan gue dapet link blognya salah satu pemain timnas sepakbola Indonesia, Bambang Pamungkas. Sebelumnya, gue mau ngaku kalo gue amat sangat kurang mengikuti persepakbolaan Indonesia. Dulu sih sempet. Tapi udah luama banget. Sejak persepakbolaan Indonesia "dihiasi" dengan tingkah kampungan dan sampah dari suporternya. Sampe' dengan tingkah yang sama kampungannya dari orang-orang PSSI sendiri. Kayaknya gak jauh beda dari nonton drama ala sinetron. Setiap timnas kita menang, gue bangga kok. Tapi lebih sering rasa bangga itu langsung ketutupan sama rasa sedih dan geram ngeliat ... yah... dua kelompok yang gue sebutin tadilah. Suporter dan petinggi-petinggi PSSI itu.
Belakangan, untuk piala AFF, permainan timnas kita cukup bagus. Mungkin karena Markus baru nikah sama Kiki Amalia.
* kebawa-bawa media yang LEBAY luar biasa dan menganggap Kiki Amalia patut dan WAJIB untuk dimintai pendapat setiap selesai satu pertandingan. PRET!! *

Nah. Sekarang masalahnya adalah, kenapa sih kita ( baca : MASYARAKAT INDONESIA - red ) itu suka banget ngerusak sesuatu yang udah bagus dengan hal-hal taikucing yang NGGAK penting?
Salah satunya dengan fanatisme berlebihan ga jelas apalah itu. PRET!
Kemaren, hidup di Indonesia itu udah enak. Adem. Tentram. Di sekolahan diajarin untuk saling menghargai. Sekarang? Itu FPI kenapa masih pada bernafas aja? Kapan matinya?
Fanatisme yang berlebihan pada agama?
Bagi sebagian orang, mungkin begitu.
Gue termasuk sebagian orang itu.

Sekarang, INI.
What the fuck is THAT all about, huh?
Fanatisme berbangsa?
Mungkin.
Orang yang sepi klien dan jadi gak ada kerjaan?
PASTI.
I'm not gonna even explain to you what the douche bag said. You can just click that link anyway. Tapi, yang jelas, gue mau bilang kalo orang-orang kayak gitu tuh, NGACO!

Lo mau nunjukkin nasionalisme lo?
Gak harus gitu caranya loh ya. Ada banyak cara lain. Dan gue juga gak bakal ngejelasin satu-satu dengan cara apa-apa aja. Udah pada gede-gede ini. Mikir dong ah.
Tapi yang jelas bukan dengan cara kayak gitu.
Lambang negara dijadiin bagian seragam timnas sepakbola lo anggap menyinggung?
Itu cuma sesuatu yang dijahitin ke kain, woi!
Kalo nasionalisme lo emang udah level dewa banget, you'll keep doing what you think will make this country better. Making a fuss about an emblem is NOT.
Kayak kemaren waktu salah satu kitab suci salah satu agama mau dibakar, trus pada heboh.
You all will call me a bitch after this and hate me to your core, but I'll say this :
kitab suci itu cuma benda. Okelah, ada nilai relijiusnya. Tapi kalau itu dibakar, lo bisa beli lagi kan? Bisa dicetak lagi kan?
Kalau emang iman lo udah sehebat yang lo bangga-banggain selama ini, yang bakal lo perduliin adalah hubungan pribadi lo dengan Tuhan lo.
Kalau ada orang yang ngebakar kitab suci agama gue di depan hidung gue, gue mah cuek.
It's just a book. It's a THING.
Gue bisa beli kitab suci sampe' 20 lusin kalo gue mau. Tapi apa gunanya kalo toh gue menganggap ngebunuh orang (atas nama agama *muntah*) itu bener? Apa gunanya kalo gue menganggap menindas dan mengintimidasi orang lain itu sah-sah aja? Apa gunanya kalo gue menganggap mengambil barang-barang atau uang yang bukan milik gue itu bener?
APA... GUNANYA?
Ya okelah.. mungkin cara gue memandang agama emang agak "beda"
*self-proclaiming ceritanya*
Agama itu MEMBANTU orang buat jadi lebih baik. Bukan MEMBUAT. Itu juga KALAU dia mau jadi lebih baik.
Menurut gue loh yaaaa~
* mempersiapkan diri untuk mendapat komen-komen yang ngatain gue sok pinter, sok tau, apalah taikucing *

Nah! Kembali lagi ke soal lambang Garuda itu.
Serius deh. Itu SAMPAH banget.
Kenapa sih lo ngebiarin fanatisme gak penting lo menutupi penghargaan yang harusnya lo kasih ke prestasi yang udah diraih seseorang?
Heran deh.

Muak aja gue ama orang-orang kayak begini. Orang-orang yang bakal nyeret bangsa ini ke dasar jurang.
* tsah! Sedep ga tuh bahasa gue!? *
* kibaskan poni *

Yaudah. Gitu deh pokoknya. I've said what I wanted to say.

Paragraf di atas, diambil dari sini.
Lo gak perlu jadi seorang nasionalis untuk menghargai orang lain yang udah berprestasi dalam ngebuat nama negara dan bangsa lo jadi lebih baik.
Nyet!

x

Aduh, Ya Gitu Deh

2010-12-15T01:19:00.001+07:00

Sumpah, tadinya gak pengen ngeblog malam ini. Cuma, mungkin karena pengaruh jiwa yang terseret ombak emosi melihat kecepatan download malam ini, jadinya ngeblog juga deh. Eh iya, malam ini saya baru "mendalami" musik beberapa band yang kemaren-kemaren cuma sering denger namanya dan, selintas, denger satu-dua lagunya. Band-band apa sajakah itu? Ah, biarlah itu menjadi rahasia ~~Vety Vera~~ alam.
Tadi, Tasya sempet ngetweet-in *istilahnya terdengar agak kurang sopan gitu ya, kayaknya* link blog gue. Erm... link flava gue sih sebenernya. Tapi tetep aja, rasanya haru-biru-gimana-gitu. Jadi buat kamu - kamu - kamu lagi *mendadak Shireen Sungkar*.
* dicakar Aslan *
Oke, ulangi.
Jadi buat lo lo semuaaaa *nada anak gaul Jakarta* yang nyungsep kemari karena tweetnya Tasya, gue minta ~~Jason Mraz~~ maaf karena pasti blog ini ga sesuai dengan harapan lo.
Yah, namanya hidup. Gak semua berjalan sesuai dengan kemauan kita.
* apa sih, nyet. Udah deh. *
Jadi tadi, iseng-iseng, gue tweet-walking ke twitter account orang-orang yang beberapa sih penting, selebihnya ga terlalu.
Nah, yang masuk kategori, "ga terlalu" ini....um...gimana ya~
Ngerasa gak sih, kalo ngebaca TL seseorang trus ngerasa,
" Ini orang apadeh banget ya? "
Atau,
" HAHA. MAMPUS! SUKURIN! MATI AJA LO SEKALIAN! "
Yang terakhir mungkin agak hardcore ya, tapi sudahlah.
Trus, tiba-tiba, ibu peri mencolek dagu gue dan berkata,
" Yuni, ~~Lala dan Bombom ada dimana~~ itu tidak baik. "
Lah, emang kenapa?
Emang siapa yang bisa ngejamin kalo orang lain ga bereaksi yang sama pas baca TL gue cobak?
Sama aja kayak orang-orang yang bilang,
" Menilai orang dari fisiknya itu ga baik loh... " trus abis itu ngeliat orang lewat dan ngomentarin,
" Ih, idungnya gede banget. Gimana lagi ti......mbangannya? "
* iyaaaaa.. gue tau. Apadeh banget itu emang contohnya.*

Gue selalu percaya, manusia itu makhluk yang visual *aish..bahasanya, mpok~!*
Apa yang lo liat, PASTI akan selalu ngaruh ke lo. Seenggaknya, di dalam hati deh. Ya sama aja sih sebenernya kan? Sama-sama bereaksi, entah itu memuji atau memaki. Bedanya, ada yang jujur ngomong, ada yang disimpen sendiri.
Kalo gue sih lebih sering diomongin. Dan gue juga udah sering ngedenger orang menilai gue. Mau itu nilai 100 atau 0. Mau itu A atau F.
Ya terserah lo juga sih. Gue terima-terima aja. Karena gue SADAR, gue juga begitu kok.
* menghembuskan asap rokok *
* menatap langit - langit kamar *
* terbuai *
* tersadar *

Eh iya. Maap. Sampe mana tadi?
Yah... lupa deh. Emang gue, walau ngegemesin gini, suka gampang hilang fokus sih.

Jadi ya, intinya sih, kalo lo bisa/suka/hobi menilai orang, jangan protes atau merasa di zholimi *maap kalo ejaannya salah* kalo orang lain ngelakuin hal yang sama ke lo.
Jangan kayak orang yang belum kenalan sama yang namanya "Resiko" dueeh~
Inti ke dua, gue menilai ELO barusan,'njing.
Iya. LO yang gak lebih mahal daripada harga semangkuk baso itu.
LO yang, sampe sekarang, masih berusaha - oh - begitu - kerasnya - untuk bisa jadi kayak GUE. * tingkat percaya diri setinggi Menara Eiffel yang dikawin silangkan dengan Monas*
Udahlah... ga bakal bisa. Mau usaha sampe dia mau ngomong ama lo lagi dan AKHIRNYA mau nge*bleep* lo juga gak bakal berhasil.
Hantamin kepala lo ke dinding 20 kali, kalo bisa lebih semakin bagus, dan terimalah kenyataan.
Copycats are so LAST CENTURY,'nyet!

Eh,download-an gue udah kelar.Udah dulu ya.
Lagian ini postingan juga ga jelas arah hidupnya. Awalnya baek - baek aja, kok malah jadi marah - marah. Ah, sungguh tak bisa dimengerti.
* emang lagi pengen marah - marah aja sih kayaknya gue yak? *
Baiklah.
Maissy undur diri dulu ya, teman-teman.
Sampai jumpaaa~
* dadah-dadah *
* ala Putri Indonesia *
* bersama Qory *
* When men are down, women can make them up *
HALAH.
SUDAH.
CUKUP.
HENTIKAN.

x

MALES

2010-12-13T22:23:00.001+07:00

Jadi ceritanya, gue lagi males banget beberapa hari ini. Udah seminggu-an deh kayaknya. Males kerja. Maksudnya, bukan males kerja juga sih. Males ngantor. Lagi males berbasa-basi. Lagi males pura-pura ngerti orang-orang pada ngomongin apa. Lagi males aja.

Ya....gitu deh.

Males ketemu orang-orang yang udah gue tau banget, fake semua. Jadi belakangan, gue balik lagi jadi orang yang annoyingly picky.

I don't want to waste my time on some people who , I know, ain't worth it.

Bahkan di Twitter pun gue lagi males. Males ngobrol-ngobrol ama orang yang gue kenal. Followers-followers itulah.

No offense. Bukan gue mau belagu atau gimana.

I still appreciate each and every one of them.

Tapi, ga tau deh.

Lagi terperangkap jerat an-sos aja kali ya ?

*aseek*

And I've been trying to write again.

Like, stories and shit.

I got so many ideas in my head, but - fuck! - it's so hard to get them out!

It's making me feel like I'm living in an imaginary reality.

Or something.

Not that it's a bad thing, but I would prefer not.

I don't know if you've been in this sort of situation before.

Kalo pernah, ya bagus. Berarti bisa ngerti apa yang barusan diocehin. Kalo nggak, ya jangan sampe deh. Ga enak banget deh.

SUMPAH.

Gue cuma pengen ngebir bareng Rini dan Gondan lagi.

Gue cuma pengen bisa motret pake kamera sendiri.

* hopefully soon. #TolongUneeYaAllah *

Gue cuma pengen bisa ngopi-ngopi bareng.... kamyu~

* #eaaaaa #MulaiDeh *

Trus ngobrol-ngobrol.

You know, to actually see your face and shit.

Mulai ga beres.

Udah ah.

:)

2010-12-07T00:49:00.001+07:00

Jadi secret admirer itu , ada enaknya tapi lebih banyak gak enaknya.
* nyemil gorengan *
Enaknya, ya bisa bersikap selayaknya temen biasa. Karena kan , biasanya, ada orang - orang yang sikapnya berubah waktu tau ada orang lain yang punya perasaan lebih ke dia.
* pengalaman agak pribadi *
And, like, you know... you sort of have this something that you keep only for yourself. Something that only you understands. The simplest reason to put a smile on your face.
Um... ya gitulah.
Gak enaknya, ya......... harus pinter-pinter jaga sikap juga. Jangan sampe ketauan kalo' situ sebenarnya adalah seorang stalker berdedikasi yang diam - diam nyari tau dia sukanya apa, ga sukanya apa, kalo lagi bosen sukanya ngapain, kalo ngupil pake jari telunjuk apa jempol ~~kaki~~.
Stuff like that.
Trus, selain harus harus pinter pura - pura di depan orangnya, harus pinter akting di depan temen-temennya juga.
Intinya sih , melelahkan.
Pura - pura terus soalnya.
Biasanya sih yang kayak gini gak bertahan lama. Karena, ya itu tadi, capek boook !
Mudah-mudahan yang gue rasain sekarang juga ga tahan lama.
Yah kecuali kalo kamu *cieh.. KAMU* berencana putus dari cewe kamu trus main-main kemari lagi. Atau ntar deh waktu eike yang ke sono.
* menatap langit penuh harap *
* ketiban meteor *
* meteor garden *
KYAAAA ! TAO MING TSE !
.
.
.
SALAH POKUS,MBAK !

Tapi ya gitu deh. Ngerti lah ya, maksudnya apa.
Iye tau. Ini ga penting banget emang. Cuma lagi pengen meracau aja siiik.
* sigh *
If only we were given a little bit more time. Maybe nothing is going to change, still. But, it would be nice, you know ? :)
Udah ah.
Yuk, Tao Ming Tse. Kita main bola lagi.
* apadeh *

x

The Voyage of The Dawn Treader

2010-12-04T01:09:00.001+07:00

I SAW "NARNIA : THE VOYAGE OF THE DAWN TREADER" TODAY,BITCHES !
TWICE !
IN A ROW !
haha.
So yeah, let me get this straight. I'm a Narnia chick. I saw the first one on dvd like, a few months ago. Again, I'm late. I know. Not sure why I didn't see it at the movies. But, doesn't matter. I fell in love. With the four kids. With the story. The imagination. And, of course, with ASLAN ! You are like the coolest lion ever, Aslan !
The second one, Prince Caspian , was definitely better than the first one. It might be the story, it could simply be because of Ben Barnes.
* droooooooolls *
And I was curious on how the third one would be. Mind you, I haven't read any of the books. Not because I don't want to, but because I can't find the English version here. Yes, this place sucks. And when I was in Jakarta, I kept forgetting to look for it. Always ended up buying Palahniuk's books. Tsk. I refuse to read the translated one. Why ? Because I'm a snob like that.
Anyway, what do I think about VOTDT ?
It was... AWESOME !
Maybe it's because it's 3D * although, I swear, I fuckin' hate those 3D glasses. * the CGI was mind blowing. It's like, I was so ready to book a plane ticket to Narnia. I want to live there. With Caspian. And our kids.
*slapped*
I was kinda bummed knowing that Peter and Susan aren't taking part in the adventure.
BUT, Will Poulter was GOOD. HAHA.
It's like , C.S Lewis made Eustace just for him. He nailed the role. At first I hated him, then I thought he was funny - in an annoying way - and then I feel like giving him a hug and a pat on the shoulder.
And Reepicheep !
OMG. Bless that giant mouse.
And now, for my favorite character, Prince Caspian.


I feel like dry humping my laptop because of this photo. No really,Ben. I DO !

OH DEAR BEN BARNES, you can be my Prince anytime you want. *curtsies*
Can I touch your...... *sword*, Caspian ?
Just so you know, Ben... every time you're on screen, I literally gasped. Yes, baby. That's how good you are. I'm feeling moist just from typing this.

No , but really, this is his best performance for Narnia. His acting is much, MUCH, better. His looks .. well.. see the three points above.
Best part about this one is, the adventure level is REALLY high. It's like a never ending heart race. Well, for me at least.
All and all, it was worth my 100.000 IDR.
It was worth ,almost , 4 hours of sitting.
It was worth the annoyance that stupid 3D glasses gave me.
IT WAS WORTH IT !

I'm sad that the story's over. :(
I'm gonna miss you , Pevensies.
I'm gonna miss you, Reepicheep !
I'm gonna miss you the most, Aslan.
:')

FOR NARNIA !

x

The Harry Potter and The Me

2010-12-01T01:05:00.001+07:00

So yeah.. I just started watching Harry Potter like, 3 or 4 days ago. Just finished " The Chamber of Secrets ". Yeaaaaah, I knooooow.. I'm ,like, really late. Tapi, lebih baik telat daripada hamil. Bukan begitu ?
* dijejelin spiral *
What I think about the (two) movies ?
It's okay.
Gak tau deh ya. Gue sih masih lebih excited waktu nonton Narnia. I felt more drawn into the story. Tapi, yang jelas, gue gak nyesel nonton HarPot.
Gak kayak waktu gue nonton Twilight.
Waktu itu, atas nama positiptingking dan hal-hal lain yang disukai oleh Mario Teguh, gue beli itu DVD nya. Thought I'd give myself a chance first.
Oh ternyata kesempatan itu terbuang sia - sia. Sungguh gue gak ngerti kenapa banyak perempuan berasa ingin menyerahkan diri pada si Edward sapalahnamanya itu.
He's a disgrace to vampires, I tell you that !
Terlalu menyeh-menyeh buat gue yang udah terlanjur mengidolakan Dracula dari Bram Stoker's Dracula. Vampire yang gue tau itu adalah yang diciptakan oleh Ann Rice.
Jadi, sori ya.. The only "Team Edward" I'm willing to join is if it was Edward NORTON's.

Oh, I got a couple of photos to share.
Ini foto anak-anak Jibriel kemaren sih. Not the best ones, I know. Karena gue juga ngambilnya curi-curi pake kamera kantor. Masih banyak yang lain,tapi di kamera temen gue. Yang gue ambil cuma dikit.
* sok mau pamer2 foto. Biar kayak blog potograper gitu loh,cyiiin. *
* menggelepar *

Bagus - Zaindra.

So sweet gitu ya pose-nya. Kayak baru jadian.

Tapi kemudian, pihak ketiga muncul.

Ah,tatapan mata lo ke Ai,Gus.

Sungguh..... penuh.... arti.

* dikeroyok rame-rame *

Yang paling banyak dapet komen di Facebook.

*geleng - geleng kepala*

Pose " Candid namun terencana " ini juga banyak menimbulkan

kekisruhan di kalangan teman- teman wanita saya.

jieeh.. Bagus.

Sang model gelas kopi.

Sumpah ini BUKAN Rhoma Irama.

Ini Nara.

Satria Bergitar juga sih pose doi.

Yah, begitulah kira - kira, teman - teman sekalian.

The men that made my weekend!

Me and Biby had some really good laugh talking about you guys today.

Eh, no. Yesterday.

* evil laughter *

Come back soon yaaaaa !
Especially YOU.
* yang mana hayoooo~ *
* memancing isu *
* di air keruh *
* HA to the LAH *

251

2010-11-30T00:46:00.000+07:00

Jadi... #30HariMenulis udah selesai. And this is my 251 post.
Apa yang gue dapet selama ngikutin "program" 30 hari menulis kemaren ?

Gue jadi lebih rajin nulis. * yaiyalaaah~ *
Ternyata gue bisa juga nulis yang NGGAK galau - galau. HAHA.
Dalam 30 hari ini, banyak BANGET yang terjadi. The shifts in my life. The changed point of views. The strength lost and then gained back. The trust given and then wasted just like a bag of trash. Little surprises that managed to surprised me GOOD. The good one and the bad ones. Yeah, I got more bad ones that the other. Life,right ? Friends lost and new friends to replace them.

Gue juga diingetin lagi kalo nulis itu gak harus selalu harus dengan kata - kata puitis atau apalah. Writing is suppose to liberate you. Well, if not you, me then. It's suppose to be a therapy. Again, if not for you, me then.
Jadi mungkin, gue bakal lebih rajin lagi ngeblog. Dan MUDAH - MUDAHAN gak bakal selalu ngomongin hal - hal galau dan sejenisnya. Kalau pun galau , ya seadanya aja gitu.
Ah,doakan saya ya teman - teman.
* bersimpuh *

Eh iya.. makasih juga buat yang udah rajin singgah. Yang udah ninggalin komen disini atau pun lewat ~~kotak pos~~ Twitter. Buat Lalla dan Dzaki yang "memperkenalkan" program ini ke gue. Makasih loh yaaa~ Besok dibeliin permen deh.

x

Day 30 : Happy Sunday !

2010-11-28T22:38:00.005+07:00

Postingan terakhir untuk #30HariMenulis ini ditulis dengan keadaan tubuh yang cukup pegel dan perut yang keroncongan. Dan tentu saja, janganlah melupakan sakit kepala yang baru saja singgah.
Tapi bukan berarti hari Minggu gue jelek loh ya. No,no. Justru hari ini menyenangkan ! Dan ini agak berhubungan dengan postingan sebelumnya. Yah,semacam cerita bersambung gitu deh.
Siang ,sekitar jam 12-an , nyampe di Arya Duta. Rencananya mau interview anak-anak Jibriel dulu. Seru sih interview nya.
TAPI,
kan itu wawancara gue rekam dengan menggunakan fasilitas voice recorder di Blackberry ya. YOU KNOW WHAT,
* pasti you don't know lah.. Makanya ini I mau kasih tau biar you know. *
* ditampar *
di jalan mau balik ke rumah, gue pengen dengerin lagi itu hasil interview dan gue baru tau kalo yang kerekam itu cuma SATU MENIT TIGA DETIK !
Ya tentu saja akan ada interview dengan durasi sesingkat itu !
* banting hape *
* rusak *
* nyesel *
* pungut lagi *
* LABIL *
Tapi.... sudahlah, Sergio. Mau bagaimana lagi ?! Marilah berharap agar otak yang bekas pakai ini bisa mengingat lagi semua pembicaraan tadi. Kalau pun tidak sekarang, semoga besok pagi. SEMOGA !
* berlari di tepi pantai *
Abis interview, pada makan siang deh.
Itu anak - anak Jibriel, masyaoloooh !
HAHAHA.
Kayaknya sih itu pada muslim semua deh. Ya seenggaknya Ai ama Ozzy deh ya. Trus si Bagus juga. Tapi kenapa itu pada semangat banget pengen makan yang tidak halal ?
* Babi,maksudnya. Bukan hal-hal haram lainnya seperti .... ah sudahlah. Lupakan. *
Ya nggak mengejutkan juga sih . I mean, temen-temen gue ada juga yang muslim tapi suka curi - curi makan. Tapi..... hahahahahaha *ngakak*
Kayaknya yang paling birahi banget makannya tuh si Nara deh * pengaruh belum sarapan mungkin ya ? *
Si Ai udah sempet makan duluan sih di hotel. Kalo kata dia,
" Aduh, ini salah banget deh tadi makan di hotel. Kalo gak pasti nambah. "
'setdah,bang !
haha.
Pas mau balik, Ai dikeroyok minta foto bareng dan tanda tangan.
Aseeek.
Susah nih jalan ama ARTEIS.
Halah.
:))
Waktu pada beli oleh - oleh sejenis pancake durian, Meranti dan bika ambon pun kejadian yang sama terulang lagi.
Ck ck ck.
Abis itu pada ke Cambridge buat ngopi - ngopi sambil nunggu ke airport. Pesawat mereka take off jam 19.00 WIB.
Waktu di airport tuh kayaknya sedih banget deh. *ah,lebay aja lo,Un*
Maksudnya gini loh, kayak mau ngelepas teman-teman lama untuk bekerja di Arab Saudi.
* nyet ! Bukan TKI loh ini ! *
Ya gitu deh. Berasa udah lama kenal aja gitu. *CIEH. PRET!*
No no. But really, they were a lot of fun to hang out with. Gak sok ngetop ato apalah gitu.
Dan ngobrolin musik ama mereka tuh seru banget !
Gue banyak ngobrol ama Nara (dan Ai juga sih). Itu berasa pengen ngopi - ngopi bertiga trus ngomongin musik berlama - lama deh.
I've met - so called - famous musicians yang kayaknya berasa banget kalo mereka bermusik tuh hanya buat cari makan, you know what mean ? Ya ga ada yang salah sih dengan "cari makan" itu tadi, cuma....kalo jadi terkesan "ngejual diri" BANGET, where's the fun in that ? Legendary musicians are the legends that they are now because they significant. Not because they sound like "most musicians". You knoooow ?
Jadi kalo diajak diskusi dikit , jawabannya agak - agak melenceng kemana - mana.
Tapi mereka enggak. And people like them can just make me feel all excited ( terakhir ngerasa kayak gitu waktu interview Glen Fredly. Which was quite surprising karena ternyata point of view dia soal musik itu lumayan "oh-wow" banget ! ).
Apalagi waktu tau Nara suka ngebuat scoring buat film - film. WAAAA ! Gila ! Gue selalu admire orang - orang yang bisa bikin scoring untuk film ! Itu SUSAH banget loh !
Orang - orang kayak Hans Zimmer, John Williams, James Horner , Howard Shore , etc, gue pengen tau banget kayak apa isi kepala itu orang-orang !
Mereka itu bisa dibilang kayak ngasih 1/2 nyawa ke sebuah film. Band - band / musisi yang dipilih untuk ngisi soundtrack itu gak ada apa-apanya dibanding film score makers !
* yeah. Sorry,dudes and dudettes.*
Jadi to actually know someone who does that was like... WHOA !
And I've met famous people yang ngerasa kalo fame yang mereka punya itu bisa jadi alesan untuk mereka bersikap like a snobbish ass. Fact !
I've met one of my favorite writer once. And she decided to act like a total bitch. Trust me, she just lost my respect and admiration in five seconds.
I admire talent. I admire intelligence. But if you're acting like a total jerk just because you *know* you got them, you're nothing but shit to me, I tell you that.
Nah, jadiii... ama mereka-mereka ini, nggak berasa kayak gitu. Kayak ketemu temen baru yang immediately feels like old friends.
Yaaa mungkin emang gue aja deh yang lebay.
* menatap langit malam *
* menghitung bintang *
* dirubung nyamuk *
The lebay-ness * if I'm considered giving out that sort of reaction * is not because they're famous or whatever , but because they're fun.
All and all, it was really nice.
I don't really like meeting new people. Not really good at adapting and socializing, but they were really nice.
Therefore, I am happy.

front (left - right ) : Meta, Bagus, Biby.

Back (left - right ) : Nara, Zaindra, Ai, yours truly, Fata, Dame ('s head. HAHA)

Sorry for the poor quality. Took it from twitpic.

Fata should have emailed me photos from the camera,

but I'm guessing that won't be done tonight.

*sigh*

THANK YOU GUYS !
Can't wait to see you again !
Hopefully next year when I'm in Jakarta ya !
Oh and good luck with the second album.

X !

PS : Oh oh, if you're interested, go visit their MySpace ya ! :)

Day 29

2010-11-28T20:59:00.000+07:00

YES. I KNOW !
I MESSED UP AGAIN !
Geeez !
I'm sorry.
Last few days was a bit difficult for me.
But anyways, let's talk about what happened on the 27th of November,shall we ?
Semalem ada acara kantor. Kita ngadain music competition gitu. Buat band ama rapper. *jieeh..aseek banget yak?*
Kita berharap banget ga bakalan ujan. Tapi dari pagi udah ujan aja gitu. Ngeek !
Jadinya acara molor deh. Harusnya mulai jam 11 , malah jadi sekitar jam 1.
Venue nya itu di Merdeka Walk. Pas nyampe, Jibriel udah check sound.
Yang ngebuat semua pada napsu *termasuk saya* ama Jibriel ini adalah drummernya , Fachri Albar.
* mimisan 3 galon *
* berubah jadi Marsha Timothy *
Preet!
Tapi cuma ngeliat dari jauh aja sih mereka check sound.
Abis itu acara mulai. Gue jadi MC aja gitu. HAHA.
Acaranya seru sih. Rame juga ternyata yang ikutan.
Gue balik duluan. Selesai band , ya udah,balik. Udah capek banget. Ngemsi-nya gantian ama temen yang satu lagi. Jadi ga sempet liat Jibriel manggung. Karena mereka manggungnya di akhir acara.
At that time, gue lebih pengen pulang, MANDI dan ciuman ama tempat tidur.
Dari jam 1 baru kelar jam 8 malem.
Hadeeeuh~
Ngebosenin yak ?
Nggak juga sih sebenernya.
I had fun.
Band-band nya juga lumayan. Dari 30-an peserta, cuma 4 sih yang gue suka. Yang beda. Yang gak terlalu maksain untuk ngerubah lagu-lagu yang jatohnya malah jadi aneh.
Seneng ngeliatin banyak band gitu. Udah lama banget gue gak nonton band band baru yang mencoba "tumbuh" *tsah! anjing bahasanya.* di Medan ini.

Hm... trus apalagi ya ?
Itu aja deh kayaknya kalo buat semalem.
Buat hari ini, di postingan berikutnya aja.
XD

x

Day 28 : While My Guitar Gently Weeps

2010-11-26T02:29:00.001+07:00

A friend was told me, what would life be without hope ?
I'd say, it's still would be a life. A not worth living kind ? Not really. A less painful one. Hope is like the front gate of pain. For me, at least. Plus, just because someone said s/he has quit hope, it doesn't necessarily means one is quitting on everything. Maybe just one in particular. Like me.
It's not really that bad, you know ?
It's just like surrounding yourself with a steel wall. Lock yourself in it and swallow the key.
The one person that gave me my hope back just sort of - indirectly - wash it away.
Sad ?
Not really.
I was more accustomed to the first situation then the latter.
Doesn't mean that I'll stop caring. I don't quit that easy. At least not until I feel like I'm out of strength to keep going.
Maybe I'll lost the strength tomorrow. Or in the next half an hour. I'm not sure. But... until then... I'm still here.
:)

I look at the world and I notice it's turning
While my guitar gently weeps
With every mistake we must surely be learning
Still my guitar gently weeps

Day 27

2010-11-23T23:21:00.000+07:00

Yeah. I know. I have two posts in one day. That's because I skipped yesterday's. Man. This is the second time I messed the program.
*sigh*
Anyways, I'm too tired to write about anything. Drained to be exact. Maybe Rini was right. I am keeping a time bomb. I don't know when it'll explode. I'm just trying so hard just so it won't be soon. I need to snap out of this. Soon.
* another sigh *
So, anyway, to distract me tonight, I worked on a couple of photos.
Click HERE if you wanna see.
Don't expect too much tho'. I'm just an amateur after all.

Later,folks.

x

Day 26 : I'll Miss You :')

2010-11-23T12:27:00.000+07:00

One of my dogs died this morning.
I know some people who hates animals. The kind that finds pets are too much of a trouble. But if you're not one of those people, you'd probably understand the sadness that I am feeling right now.
Ever since I was little, I was taught to love animals. We had loads of pets back then. I used to have a Persian cat. Her fur was white and she was really sweet. Had until I was 5 or six. And around the same age, I had - probably - one of the smartest dog ever. My mom named him Bruno. I can swear, he almost felt like a real person. He was very sensitive.
Once my mom got in to a fight with my dad and she was crying. She was sitting on a chair, in front of the telly and cried. Bruno looked at her, got his two front legs on to my mom's lap and licked her tears. My mom ended up laughing and said thank you. That was the first time I witnessed how touching a human - animal relationship can be. After that I started to grow this habit of talking to my pets.
I used to have a pet goldfish for a couple of months. He died because a cousin managed to sneaked in my room and poured soda in his bowl. That stupid mothafak !
When I got back from school, he's dead.
I had the privilege to name the last three dogs I got. I named them after 3 of my favorite football ( soccer, whatever ) player at that time. Pippo , from Fillipo Inzaghi. Crespo from Hernan Crespo and Owen from Michael Owen. I took care of them since they were puppies. They used to sleep with me , in my room. Pippo just love to pee in every corner of my room. Crespo was just happy he didn't have to sleep outside. Owen was the well mannered one. :')

Pippo died around 3 or 4 years ago. He was running outside, with Crespo and Owen. And , my dad - who was sitting at the front porch - said, he suddenly stopped running, fell down to the ground and just ... stopped moving. I found out about it when I got home. They buried him already. I cried in the shower.
Today, Owen died. He was fine yesterday. I slept at around 4 last night. He was still fine. But, when I was driving to the office, I remembered that last night, around 3 while I was watching, " Lie To Me " I heard Owen howling. Not the scary howl. More like a sad kind of howl. And I though, " Oh come on,boy. It's 3 in the morning. Get some sleep already. " I was too lazy to check on him. After his death, I got to think that maybe, just maybe, that was his way of saying goodbye. :((
If only I just got up from bed and checked on him. It probably won't make any difference, but.......................................
He died when I was in the shower. My mom told me while I was getting ready for work.
My dogs are my best friends. I remember the times I spent with them, talking. Especially through a few of the most difficult phases of my life.
I also realized that I haven't been spending as much time as I used to with them lately. Which is now - kind of - breaking my heart.
Owen is the kind of dog that owns a very kind soul. He's always the calm one. The obedient one. He's also sensitive. He knows when to approach , when to just sit still.
And now, I'd do almost anything just to hug him for the last time. To rub his belly. To talk to him. :((

Haven't been able to stop crying. I'm just sad.
I wish I didn't have to work today. Just feel like staying in my room and cry.
So many things I wanted to write but my head is just a bit messed up right now.
I should give Crespo the extra attention tho'. He's alone now. And when I was leaving for work, I saw him looking... devastated. No, I can feel it. We'll get through this together alright ? :')

Thank you for being such a wonderful dog, Owen.
Thank you for all the good and fun times.
You've been a part of my life for almost 10 years, I think.
It's like losing a best friend.
Be good wherever you are now, okay ?
I love you,boy.
:')
And I sure will miss you.
:((

x

ps : Twitter friends, thank you. I thought I was just gonna make a fool out of myself when I tweeted about his death and how sad it made me. Turns out, I didn't.
Thank you again. Means a lot. You are good people. :')

Day 25 : WTF DEH IH !

2010-11-21T22:47:00.000+07:00

Ini orang - orang pada kenapa sih ?
Ada yang kepo ngurusin masa lalu orang lain trus belagak SOK tau , trus berasa WAJIB untuk ber"khotbah". Trus abis itu ngajak temen-temennya buat keroyokan. Tapi giliran di keroyok balik malah ga terima !
Ya kalo pun temen-temen lo punya inisiatif untuk menunjukkan sikap setia kawannya dengan ngebelain lo, selalu ada alesan untuk NGELARANG kan ?
Drama lo ga asik deh.
And FYI, I stand up for my friends. ALWAYS. Kalo masalahnya dihadapin secara pribadi , person to person, individually , I'm not gonna care. Even if I know how the story goes. But if you mess with the people I consider friends, well --- shut the fuck up if I decided to mess with you too. AND your friends.

Trus ini apalagi deh, sensi - sensi ga jelas. Laki-laki kok ya sensi. Apa sih ?!
Gue suka heran deh ngeliat laki - laki model begini. Lashing out ga jelas. Ga ngasih alesan. Ditanyain baik-baik tapi balesnya nyolot.
Salah apa gue,woi ?!
Ngomong dong kalo emang (ngerasa) gue ada bikin salah ama lo !
Ngehe.
Ga malu apa ama t*tit ?
Tsk.

Marah-marah semua deh jadinya isi postingan. Hadeeeuuh~
It's just, I'm really avoiding stuff like this. Well, just for that last sih sebenernya. When you're trying to be a friend but ended up treated like - somewhat - an enemy, that's just... fucked up.
Yaudahlah.
'serahlo deh.

x

Day 24 : A Far and in Silence

2010-11-20T21:07:00.001+07:00

I am like that person who is sitting across the room , watching you.
Enjoying your every move.
Playing a guessing game about what you are thinking.
Pretending to know what you are talking about when you answer your phone.
Who is calling.

Repeat.

I know we would be perfect for each other.
Not because we like the same things.
But because we can talk the differences.
I know you without you knowing me knowing.
Yeah, like that.

Repeat.

I can almost feel the comfort of resting my head on your shoulder.
Your scent brushing my nose.
The tip of my finger running through your skin.
My hand on your open palm.
Your lips.

Repeat.

Everything is safe in my imagination.
In my head.
Words are dangerous.
Actions might hurt.
Knowing will damage.

Repeat.

Perfection exists if you are looking from the right distance.
A far.
Like me, here.
And you are, there.
Imagination, in between.

Repeat.

Sincerely,
your fangirl.
:)

x

[ image taken from here ]

Day 23 : That Best Part of (my) Life

2010-11-19T23:48:00.009+07:00

Last night I accidentally saw a friend's profile on the home page of my Facebook. There, I saw she was tagged in an album filled with photos from high school. I started clicking here and there and then felt... over-whelmed.
Mendadak jadi keinget masa-masa SMA dulu. Jadi dulu gue itu ngerasain SMA di dua sekolah yang berbeda. Kelas 1 dan 2 di SMA *blabla* dan kelas 3 pindah ke SMA lain. Kenapa pindah ? Bukan. Bukan karena gue dianggap terlalu jenius oleh pihak sekolah yang lama.
Waktu itu, sekolah gue sempat kisruh *halah* karena kita sempet pada demo. Bukan. Bukan bersama Rudi Choiruddin , tapi demonstrasi. Soalnya sekolah itu termasuk salah satu sekolah swasta yang mahal uang sekolahnya. Tapi ironisnya, kita ga punya lab. Miskin banget deh. Trus pada ngajuin usul ke kepala sekolah untuk dibikinin lab. Eh, doi malah ga mau. Dengan alasan, ga ada dananya. Nyet, yang bener aja. Itu uang sekolah pada kemana semua duitnya ? Singkat kata, demo lah kita. Waktu itu gue masih kelas 2. Awal kelas 3 masalahnya belum kelar juga ( yeap. Lama banget deh itu kemaren masalahnya. Berbulan-bulan ). Akhirnya pihak sekolah nyuruh semua yang ikutan demo untuk menandatangani surat perjanjian yang bilang kalo kita ngaku salah dan kalo sebenernya kita ga punya alasan untuk demo. Ya pada ga maulah. Trus diancem ga bakal di lulusin. Pada males digituin, ya udah ... kita pindah aja. Hampir seratus orang juga deh kayaknya yang pindah. Anak - anak kelas 2 sebagian ada yang ikut pindah juga. Sampe harus ngebuka 1 kelas baru untuk anak - anak kelas 2 dan satu lagi untuk yang kelas 3. Khusus buat yang IPA.

Nah,foto-foto yang semalem gue liat itu adalah foto-foto waktu kelas 3. Di sekolah yang baru. Cuma setaun
( ga sampe setaun malah kayaknya ) sih bareng mereka yang ada di foto - foto itu. Tapi rasanya kangen banget. :(
Mungkin karena gue dapet kelas yang bener-bener "ga sehat" mentalnya. Gue inget gimana baiknya mereka. Gue inget gimana lucunya mereka and how we had such a wonderful and crazy times together. Bolos, di setrap karena gak ngerjain PR, sampe main judi di kelas. HAHA. Iya sih. Ngehek banget gitu ya,main judi di kelas. Dan gak sadar kalo ada temen yang sempet ngambil fotonya. DAN MASIH ADA AJA GITU SAMPE SEKARANG !
Ngeliat foto yang sedang berjudi itu, gue inget guru Sosiologi kita dulu. Pak Donald. ADUH ! Beliau itu salah satu guru paling OKE yang pernah gue punya. SUMPAH.
He was funny. He treated us like friends. Dia gak pelit kalo ngasih nilai. He was very kind. Salah satu pembicaraan yang gue inget bareng Pak Donald adalah waktu 2 atau 3 minggu awal baru pindah. Dia manggil gue ke depan kelas trus basa basi nanyain, " Gimana ? Bisa ngikutin pelajarannya gak ? Gak ngerasa ketinggalan kan ? Ada yang gak ngerti ? " Trus - lupa gimana awalnya - tiba tiba si bapak nanyain,
" Kamu berapa bersaudara ? Punya abang ? Kakak ? Adik ? "
" Dua,Pak."
" Kamu sulung ? "
" Bungsu."
" Oh. Abang atau kakaknya kuliah dimana ? "
" Abang, Pak. Udah kerja siih.. Udah punya anak 1. Cowo. "
" Hah ? Nikah muda ? "
" Nggak juga ,Pak. Beda usia kita emang jauh. Beda 20 taun."
*bengong*
" SERIUS ? "
" Ho'oh."
" Jauh ya bedanya ? Pasti waktu si mama tau dia hamil, dia kaget. "
" Iya,Pak. Kayaknya sih gitu. Mungkin si mama bilang, " YAH. KOK JADI SIH INI ? " ha..ha..ha.. "
" Tsk. Anak kurang ajar. Awas dikutuk jadi batu."
" Malin Kundang is so last year,Pak. "
" Aduh..jangan pake bahasa inggris. Aku ini guru Sosiologi. Gak ngerti bahasa inggris. Haha. Trus, udah nemu cowo yang ditaksir ? "
" .......... "
Waktu udah deket UAN (waktu itu nyebutnya masih EBTA/EBTANAS), dan bahan pelajaran udah abis, si bapak ngerti banget deh kalo kita udah capek belajar. Pengen santai sebelum ujian. Jadi dia dengan sengaja sering keluar kelas. Waktu dia cabut, mulai deh kita pada main judi. HAHA. Pas dia balik,semua pada panik. Trus dia nanya, " Kalian pada main judi ya ? ". Kita jawab, " Iya,Pak ". Udah pede aja sih bakal dihukum. Tiba - tiba si bapak manggil temen gue trus disuruh jagain di depan pintu kelas dan lalu dia bilang, " Aku ikutan ya ? Taruhan berapa nih ? Eh, nanti kalo pak kepala sekolah lewat, kasih tau ya ? " NGAHAHAHAHAHA.

* maafkan kami , Bang Rhoma. Jangan hukum kami dengan bulu dadamu *
* bersimpuh*

ADUH KANGEN BANGET DEH SAMA SI BAPAK ! :((

Trus ada juga guru PPKN. Kita nyebutnya, Pak MH. Dari inisial namanya. He was so FUNNY. Bahkan saat beliau ngelucu pun , mukanya bisa datar aja gitu. Which made him even funnier. Dulu gue tuh suka lupa bawa LKS (Lembar Kerja Siswa). Jadi kalo disuruh ngerjain LKS, suka panik sendiri. Ujung-ujungnya ya nyontek punya temen. *Please don't try this at home. Halah.* Tapi kalo Pak MH jalan ke barisan belakang, gue bakal minjem LKS temen trus pura-pura baca soalnya. Pernah ketauan ama Pak MH tapi dia diem aja. Ketauan kedua kali, dia ngomong,
" Inilah hebatnya si Yuni ini. Tanpa tau soalnya apa, dia bisa tau jawabannya. Bakat yang gak dipunya banyak orang. Bisa jadi presiden dia ini "
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

KANGEN PAK MH JUGAAA ! :((

Guru Akuntansi yang ga pernah senyum. Banyak yang bilang karena doi masing melajang aja padahal umurnya udah 40-an. Menurut spekulasi sejarah, katanya dia pernah patah hati gitu deh. Trus gak sembuh-sembuh. Jadinya yaaaa....gitudeh. Tapi dia tuh ga pernah marah sama murid cewe. Lain cerita kalo sama murid cowo. Sensi gitu bawaannya.
*ngakak guling - guling*
Guru Matematika yang merangkap wakil kepala sekolah. Yang selalu merasa yakin kalo gue bisa nyeselesein soal matematika tanpa harus punya pikiran untuk terjun dari lantai dua.
" Matematika itu gampang kok kalo udah tau rumusnya. Masalahnya, kamu itu rumusnya aja gak tau. Jiwamu susah untuk diselamatkan. Tapi jangan nyerah. Harus berjuang. "
Untung waktu itu belum ada Mario Teguh. Kalo ada... entah apa yang terjadi.
Guru Biologi dan Kimia yang kayaknya masuk kategori MILF buat anak-anak IPA ( gue anak IPS sih yaaa ).
Guru Bahasa Inggris yang sering banget kita kerjain.

Temen-temen gue dulu tuh banyakan cowo. Jadi kebawa-bawa bandelnya deh. HAHA. Tapi mereka baik banget. Selalu ngejagain. Which is one of the main reason kenapa gue lebih seneng temenan ama cowo. Plus, mereka gak se-dramatis cewe-cewe. Inget banget dulu waktu ada razia dadakan , trus salah satu dari temen cowo gue itu ada yang bawa cimeng. HAHAHAHAHA. PARAH BANGET DEH ITU PANIKNYA ! ANJING! AHAHAHAHA.
Pada heboh ngoperin cimengnya. Sampe akhirnya ada berhasil nyembunyiin di bangku belakang. HAHAHAHAHA.
Gue pernah kejebak cinta segitiga tai kucing gitu ama salah dua dari mereka.
Gue sukanya ama si A, tapi si A sukanya ama temen gue. Adalah si B, temen si A yang suka ama gue. Tapi gue gak suka sih sebenernya. Cuma karena bete karena si A sukanya ama temen gue, akhirnya gue terima aja dia.
HAHA. Tipikal SMA banget gak siiiiih ?!
* guling - guling *
Tapi cuma bertahan seminggu aja. Abis itu putus. Kenapa ? GUE DISELINGKUHIN AJA GITU !
Bangke !
*ngakak*
Waktu putus dan gue bete, si A yang menghibur
* penonton : awwww..*
Sekarang si A sudah menikah dan punya anak yang - SUMPAH - lucu banget deh anaknya.
Si B ?
Ah,sudahlah.
Biarkan dia ditiup angin puting beliung.
ngahahaah.

Satu-satunya yang bikin bete waktu itu adalah di awal kepindahan. Gue sempet digosipin pindah sekolah karena *jreeeng jreeeng* HAMIL.
Monyet !
HAHA.
Ya tapi biasa aja sih. Gue dimana-mana emang selalu ga bener aja gosipnya. Gue menganggap itu sebagai bagian dari pelatihan menuju dunia ke-artisan.
* diludahi berjamaah *

Temen - temen gue di sekolah yang lama juga gak kalah seru sih.Dari kelas 1 gue selalu punya temen sebangku yang lucu dan unik-unik.
Temen sebangku pertama itu namanya Robby. He was Chinese. He was big. I mean, like, you know.. a lot of extra pounds. Dia sering diledekin sama beberapa orang karena berat badannya. Which I find fucking ridiculous. Karena gue tau dia baik banget anaknya. So, I sort of stud up for him.
* njing ! Tiba - tiba kepikiran dia ada dimana sekarang. :( *
Trus ada Freddy.
Si bangke ini JAGO BANGET BANGET akuntansi dan fisika.
Anjing. Beneran JAGO BANGET !
Setiap ujian Akuntansi, selalu dapet 10. Sementara gue langganan dapet nilai dibawah 4. IYAK. Di bawah EMPAT. ngahahaha.
*headdesk*
Tapi dia tuh sabar banget ngajarin gue. Aduh,terharu deh. :')
Abis dari Freddy, ada Richard.
NAH. Ini nih yang kocak. Dia ini beneran tipikal geek gitu. But not the Michael Cera kind. Dia itu beneran pendiem BANGET. Dan....kalo diajak ngomong ama cewe, dia jadi gagap gitu. HAHAHA. Aduuuuuh lucuuu !
Jadi dia sering diledekin karena sebangku ama gue yang grasak-grusuk ini. Kalo gue nepuk pundaknya, dia langsung panik. Kadang gemetar.
*ngakak sampe keluar airmata*
Gue inget temen cowo gue pernah ada yang nanya ama dia,
" Eh, kau pernah nonton bokep gak ? "
Dia gemetar, gagap sampe 2 menit trus berdiri dan cabut TANPA memberi jawaban.
* ngakak guling - guling lagi *
Tapi temen sebangku terbaik gue adalah Toni.:')
Dia gak pinter - pinter banget. Gak ganteng - ganteng banget juga.
* Toni tiba-tiba muncul dari semak-semak lalu menampar gue bertubi - tubi. hahaha *
But he was the most protective one. He made sure nothing bad ever happened to me. :')
Dia yang dengerin cerita gue waktu gue punya masalah di rumah. Dia yang ngecek dan mastiin gue gak jadi kabur dari rumah. Dia marahin gue waktu gue mulai bergaul sama anak - anak yang make drugs. Dia yang menghibur gue waktu lagi sedih-sedih putus setelah setaun lebih pacaran ama kakak kelas *CIEH* Yang suka ngeledekin kalo gue udah mulai bangga gak jelas soal ke-Paskibra-an gue.
* iyee.. gini - gini dulu gue anak Paskib loooh~ *
He was a REALLY good friend. Terakhir ketemu sih.. dua taun yang lalu kayaknya. Itu seneng banget deh. Bisa ngumpul ama mereka. AAAAA ! KANGEN ! :((
Kalo di sekolah yang baru,temen sebangku gue dulu adalah si wakil ketua kelas, Renaldy. Si sarap yang sampe sekarang gue gak ngerti kenapa bisa kepilih jadi wakil ketua kelas. HAHA. Kalo yang ini kemaren "nemu" di Facebook. Sekarang udah di Jakarta. I think he works in a law firm now. Which was... surprising. Gue gak pernah ngebayangin dia jadi pengacara. I mean, remembering all the stupid and goofy stuff we did back in high-school. Sama sekali ga kebayang deh.

I'm the kind of person that doesn't have lots of friends. Kalo kenalan sih banyak ya. Cuma yang gue anggap temen, gak banyak. I'm very picky about the people I let in. The people I wanna be close to. And I feel, as I grow *cough* older , I'm becoming more picky.
Gue ngerasa, dulu , gue lebih gampang nemuin orang - orang yang bisa dipercaya. Orang - orang yang gak munafik. Orang - orang yang GAK selalu berusaha jadi orang lain hanya untuk nyenengin orang lain lagi. Temen - temen yang jujur. The kind that stabs you in the front.
Makanya gue suka ngerasa jijik aja ngeliat itu sinetron - sinetron yang ngegambarin anak - anak sekolah dengan pikiran yang sebusuk / selicik orang dewasa. Harusnya mereka belum tau itu semua. Dan yang emang beneran belum tau, karena ngeliat itu di tivi, jadi ngikutin.
Damn ! Kenapa harus dirusak (secara gak langsung) sih masa - masa itu ?
For me, my high school years were the best years of my life. The people that were in it, I will remember them forever. Including the whores and the assholes. Because, everything that happened, happened in high school. You're allowed to be stupid. To be silly. To make small mistakes. In order to be a better person. Yes, that I believe.

Ah. Sedih beneran deh. Eh,bukan sedih juga sih. Kangen. :((
Mudah - mudahan, secepatnya ada reuni ya,teman - teman.
Kangen kalian banget !
BANGET !
:((

bet you can not guess which one's me.

HAHA.
Itu tuh, ada empat orang bapak - bapak yang di depan. Nah, Pak Donald tuh paling kiri.
Yang gak pake dasi sendiri.
Rebel gitu ceritanya doi.
nyahahahaha.

" As we go on, we remember. All the times, we had together. And as our lives change from whatever, we will still be friends forever. " --- Vitamin C, Graduation. :')

yang paling depan ,giving the "peace" sign, namanya Haryanto.

Yang paling gue inget dari dia, kalo ditanya,

" Cita-citanya apa ? ",

dia selalu ngejawab,

" Pengen jadi KAPOLRI "

HAHAHAHAHAAH.

BANGKE!

Yang cowo sendiri itu namanya Joshua.

That's his car.

Sering digunakan (selain untuk pacaran dengan cewenya waktu itu, Ayu) sebagai :

transportasi ketika ingin bolos *foto diatas dan tulisan di pojok kanan adalah buktinya*

dan untuk numpang ngerokok.

muahahahahahaaha.
gue yang mana hayooooo ?
=)) =))

I miss you guys. I really do. :')

x

ps : This is officially the longest post I've ever had in a VERY long while. HAHA.

Day 22

2010-11-18T22:58:00.020+07:00

I need a really - I mean, REALLY - good back massage. Man ! My back is sore.
And I have been sneezing a lot since this afternoon. Which usually is never a good sign. I feel a light headache dancing on my head ,as we speak. The only good thing I got today is, I'm on season two of " Lie To Me ".
The first episode of this second season was, " The Core Of It ". Erika Christensen was in it. I was not a fan. But after that one episode, I think I just had a crush on her. SHE NAILED IT !
It's not easy playing someone with multiple personal disorder. I know someone with a double personality in real life. That's already a handful. Imagine more that two. She had to play FOUR personalities. Shit. And she... nailed it ! ACE, Christensen !

So okay. Moving on to a bit more serious topic. Last night, a Twitter friend got caught up in a chaos. Well, yeah. Let's just put it that way. Peer chaos. She ended up BBm-ing me and told me everything about it. I'm gonna spare you the detail, but I will tell you what I find funny.
I find it funny that people still think it's funny to make fun of someone else's weight. You know, calling names, saying stuff regarding the weight. Or just physical appearance in general.
I mean, seriously.
People still do THAT ?
It's 2010,right ?
And making fun of someone's origin and backgrounds ? Really ? I mean, REALLY ?
What the fuck is wrong with you people ?

Yeah okay, sometimes I can get a little bit out of control myself when it comes to dissing people. Not mention my potty mouth and shit. But I only do that to dumb people. Because if you don't have the brain - or you do but just don't know or don't want to use it - you basically have , " PLEASE MOCK ME " writing up your forehead.
I don't "attack" people based on how they look or where they came from or whatever.
DUDE. SERIOUSLY.
I mock brain-less people.
People that (still) think it's cool to make fun of something else other than that, those pathetic bullies, I find you disgusting. You all should just die. Just jump off a cliff or something. You useless piece of shit.
If you're one of those people, yeah .. I'm talking about you too then.
And hear me out, it's better to be someone with a few extra pounds than be someone who is born with no brain.
Trust me, dudes and dudettes , it's SO much better.

Alright then.
That will be all.

Oh oh ! I will leave you with a quote !

" And no,wacky religions,they don't bother me. Because they're no wackier than the mainstream ones " -- Eli Loker.

Come, Loker. Lemme give you a kiss. :))

x

PS : Hey. I think I'm changing (BACK) to another one of your fangirl. Teheehee. Wanted to post something about you but then, I got embarrassed . So I cancelled. I think I'm gonna start stalking you again. In a good way and from a safe distance. :p

Day 21 : Lie To Me

2010-11-17T21:31:00.008+07:00

So, yeah. I told you already that I just started watching " Lie To Me ", right ? Well,guess what ? I'm hooked. Been watching like 7 episodes of that today. Got the last 3 episodes from season 1 to finish. I like this kind of series. The kind that just drags you in each stories, each cases. Making you feel like you're also solving something. Trying to outrun the characters. Learning from them. The same reason why I'm head over heels for, "Dexter", " Criminal Minds ", " House " and "CSI" *but I don't watch CSI anymore now. I dunno why I stopped. Meh. *

The most interesting part of , "Lie to Me " is the whole micro-expression thing. Like, just after 3 or 4 episodes, I'm starting to pay really close attention to every facial expressions I can catch. Tilting my head a little just like Dr.Cal Lightman. And when my guess turns out to be right, I will feel, " oh-shit-I-is-so-cool-bitches! "
Silly, yes I know. But, come on. Who wants to be lied to,right ?
Second most interesting part is , Brendan Hines aka Eli Loker.
*evil and a bit perverted kind of laugh*

look at those EYES and teach me how not to fall for him.

TEACH ME !

*gasping for air*

*gasping fo..... *FAINTS* *

The thing is, no matter how good someone is to detect a lie,there will always be something that's going to cloud up your 'sight'. Like, Dr. Gillian Foster who can't figure out that her husband is cheating on her. And sometimes, when you know the truth, it's not that easy to tell someone. No matter how much you want to. Lightman knowing about the affair but yet keeps his mouth shut because he thinks it's not of his business.

L i e s.
" The worst lies we tell are out of love " -- Dr. Gillian Foster.
Is it really ?
Someone once said to me , a couple of weeks ago , he lied because he did not want to hurt me.
Well, guess what ? When that person knows that s/he was being lied to, you will hurt that person even more compared to if you told them the truth in the first place.
I'm not saying that I never lie. Hell, when I was a lot younger, I used to lie to my mom and dad quite often. Back then, I lied because if I told the truth I know for sure that they won't understand. Or I will not be able to get what I want or do what I wanted to do. And usually, the things I wanted to get/do, are not dangerous. I was just avoiding the unimportant quarrel and shit.
But to friends and - at that time - boyfriends , I tried my best to never lie. Yes, it's a bit ironic that I was more capable of lying to my parents. Oh well.
Therefore I think it's only fair that I get the same treatment. The same honesty.
I'm also one of those type of person that does NOT get the whole "white lie" concept. What the fuck is a white lie ? Since when lies comes with colors ? Black ? White ? Blue ? Red ? When it's a lie, it's a lie. End of story.

The tricky part it, to differentiate between : lying and not telling the (whole) truth.

For me, it's like this :
>> When someone asked you whether you ate or not and you answered, " Nope, I haven't ate " when you actually did ate --- that's a lie.
>> When someone asked you what you had for - let's say - lunch and you answered, " Pizza " when you actually had pizza AND salad --- that's not telling the (whole) truth.

SIMPLE, right ? Well,sort of. There's a VERY thin line there. So thin that most of the times people just don't see it. Or they do but chose to ignore it.
I don't easily trust people. I might look like I do, but I don't.
I might look like I believe your expressions, the words you say to me and all, but ... lemme tell you, I DON'T.
Not that easy.
You tell me about something, I might nod my head and tell you I trust you. But believe me when I say, I will find more facts about what you're telling me behind your back before I tell myself I can trust you. Might not be the prettiest girl in the world, but I refuse to be one of the dumbest one.
One of the best quality of being a paranoid person, I guess.
If you're lucky, I might even put on a play to make you believe that you've fooled me.
Yeah, sometimes I just like to stroke other people's ego like that.
Teheeheee~

Anyways,
I'm sure you all know that trust - just like "respect"' - is something that you earned not given.
And, sometimes, no matter how hard you try, giving your trust to the wrong person is unavoidable. That falls to the category of, " SHIT HAPPENS " in life. And when that happens way too often, you might turn to this person who doesn't really trust people anymore but then, you miss the feeling of having someone you can trust. Yeah, I know. Sort of like an emo whirl pool or something.
And the weird thing about us - mortals - is, I'm sure none of us wants to be lied to, but yet we often think it's okay to lie to others.

I will leave you with to quotes. One is from Dr. Cal Lightman :

" How many people in this world do you trust ? "

And the other one would be,

" If you're going to lie, at least be good at it " --- Unee Adisti.

x

[ images taken from here and here ]

Day 20

2010-11-16T22:40:00.005+07:00

Whoa.
It's been 20 days already ? Really ? Just when I was starting to get used to it, I only got 10 more days left. Well,yeah. Maybe I could just keep posting stuff. Daily. Doesn't have to "put" myself in another "30 Days of Writing" program right ? Plus, when I think about it, I used to be one of those person who blogs everyday. It's like, I always have something to say. I can always find - at least - one interesting thing to blog about. Not sure what's changed.
But, honestly speaking ( or writing. Whatever.) for the last 20 days, I found the joy of just writing whatever I want without having to worry what other people think,back.
Writing not just to impress other people.
Oh yeah. I was once at a stage where I feel like I'm writing nothing but total bullshit. Nothing cool. I wasn't even trying to make people think, " OH SHE'S SO AWESOME ".
Trust me, I know quite a lot of people who are willing to give their right hand just to be considered awesome, cool or smart.
Well, I believe some of them really are that awesome,cool or smart. But rubbing it on everybody's faces just - kind of - lessens the value.
You know what I mean,right ?

Anyways,
I saw "The Social Network" today. On DVD. Since it's not in theaters yet here. Bless you,piracy.
What I think ?
I think it's a mediocre.
I mean, come on. If it wasn't about Zuckerberg, I doubt the hype will be just the same.
Justin Timberlake did pretty good tho'.

And I started watching " Lie To Me " earlier tonight.
Me likes !
Eli Loker, me likes you too.
:">

Oh... I know I was asked to forget, but I can't.
I'm still a bit curious why you made a big deal out of that.
Well, sort of.
Just a tiny bit curious.
But I know I can't ask.
Oh well................

By the way, I got an email from the United State's consulate. About " Community College Initiative Program ". Complete with the application form. Hm. What to do, what to do...
They're waiting for the applicants until November next YEAR tho'. Hm... more than enough time to think about it, I guess.

Later,folks.

x

Day 19 : The Small Things

2010-11-15T23:20:00.000+07:00

Okay. The small things that made me happy today :

Skipped work. YEAH !
I had PORK for lunch. YEAH !
I spent the day with myself. YEAH !
Bought some dvds. And I think I'm gonna start watching " Lie To Me " soon. My friend, Sesa , said it's good. So, I wanna see how good it is. If not, I'mma punch you in the face, Sesa. Gently. :)) YEAH !
The universe just gave me another good friend. Thank you, Fadjar for the talk. I know we've never met yet. But I am thankful. Thank you for the support and kind words. :) YEAH !
I BOUGHT THIS BABY RIGHT HERE !

what's that ?

That's " 100 Greatest NINETIES "

there's one,two,three...........five,six !

Yes, SIX cds in that box.

And I got it for only 150K.

* If you're Indonesian, you'll agree that that's quite cheap *

So me, this person whose soul is still stuck at the 90s just got SIX cds filled with songs -- GREAT songs, I might add -- from the 90s. From Marky Mark and The Funky Bunch to Indecent Obsession. And from Hole to Sound Garden. There's even New Edition and Gin Blossoms ! Fuck YEAH !

One weird thing today was a conversation I had with someone. Not face to face. Why it's weird ? I will not say. He might read it. HAHA. Maybe it's just me. Meh.

I hope you all had a wonderful Monday !

Day 18 : The One That Could Have Been

2010-11-14T20:09:00.007+07:00

Okay. So first, lemme tell you about my Sunday. My Sunday was... BORING. Well, not boring. I spent the whole day at home. In my room,on my bed -- to be precise. Mom and Dad went to Penang today. Medical check-up and stuff. I have the home to myself. YAY !
The two places I went to were my bed and the bathroom. Oh , and the front door. To get my food. Delivery service FTW ! And that's it. Slept til noon and watched FRIENDS.
It's amazing how I never get sick of this series. Some say it's stupid, but I love it.
I love Chandler Bing.
He - and his stupid jokes - reminds me of myself.
" Hi, I'm Chandler. I make jokes when I'm uncomfortable."
Yeah, me too,Chandler. Me too.
And today I saw an episode where they all got to think, how it would be if things happened differently. If Joey didn't get fired from "Days of Our Lives". If Monica was still fat. If Phoebe took the offer to work at the stock field. Stuff like that. I'm sure most people been there before,right ? Thinking would it be different if you took another decision or something. Right ?

The one that could have been.

I got to think for myself. And I went WAAAY back.
Like, when I was in elementary school , I LOVED drawing. I love colors. Altho' I realized that my drawings were awful. Like, absurd and stuff. My mom used to make fun of my drawings. And not in a funny way. She really did made me feel like I have no talent and should just stop drawing. For good. I did. But now, I regret it. I ended up feeling bad because I didn't just keep drawing. Despite of how awful or absurd my mom thought they were. My drawings. I grew up becoming someone who is crazy about art. Envying people that can draw,paint or sketch.
If I had carried on, maybe it would be different. I'm not saying that I'll be a famous painter or whatever, but... I'm sure it would be different. Lately, I've been trying to draw again. Kept on failing. I dunno why.

Junior high school. I started to write a lot. Like, short stories and poems * YES. I used to write poems. Surprising eh? *. Then I knew I wanted to be a writer. I thought it was something easy. Believe me - as time goes by - I realized, it's NOT. I also knew I wanted to study Psychology at that time. I started reading a lot of psychology books. I don't know why that one particular subject interest me, but it did. But, my mom didn't approve. She said, being psychologist is not a job. You just "sit around" and analyze people.

High school was the time where I started to go crazy on movies. I HAVE to watch at least one movie a day. Otherwise, I'd feel all weird and stuff. Then , I thought, well if psychology failed, my plan B would be to take cinematography ! I WANT TO MAKE MOVIES ! Again, my mom disapprove. Because if I were to take that major, I'd have to leave town. I have to go to Jakarta and study at IKJ. Being the only ( and youngest ) daughter, and in the name of a mother's thousand worries, I had to let that one go too. And with another thousand worries, I have to say goodbye to my other dreams. Studying abroad. I had Australia in mind and New York in heart. I wasn't sure what I was going to study. Honestly, I just wanted to go to those two places. Especially New York.
OH MY FUCKING GOD ,DO I LOVE THAT CITY !
Not just because I've been watching a lot of series that takes place in that city. I dunno, I just feel like, me and NY ,we're gonna bond real good. Like in every possible way. Even if it decides to give a couple of hard slapping here and there. I just know that, there is where I should be. * yeah,tacky. I know. *
Here's a confession : every time I see a movie/music video/photos of New York, I feel this pain in my chest and a teary eyes. Yeah.. I'm emo.

" In New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of,

there's nothing you can't do.

Now you're in New York,these streets will make you feel brand new,

the lights will inspire you.

Let's hear it for New York " -- Alicia Keys feat. Jay-Z

this is "Central Perk",

the coffee house where Monica,Ross,Chandler,Joey,Phoebe and Rachel always hang out.

I WANNA GO THERE ! :')

Now, I'm pretty much someone with no dreams.
I got no aim. I got no purpose. And that episode got me thinking, if I was just given one chance , would everything be different for me ? Maybe I'd be a movie director by now ? haha. Or maybe I'll be working at some random art gallery in New York or somewhere in Australia. The least is, maybe I'll be living the life I wanted to instead of the one other's wanted me to, you know ?
Not that there's nothing good that came with the life that I'm having now. There are a few. But the crappy part sort of outrun the good ones. Yeah, call me ungrateful. Whatever. Like I care.
I wish I had done it differently. I wish I had the guts to stand up for my dreams and not let my mom's teary eyes weakened me. Maybe that'll make me an treasonous child or whatever, but let me tell you -- nothing is more painful than having to sacrifice all your dreams only to be taken for granted after. Not that I don't love my mom (and you too,dad) but..... well, you know.... if you don't have dreams ,what's the fun of living life ?
The only one I can keep now is my writing. Not so good at it too, yeah I know. Hehe. Well, writing and photography. Those two are the only passion I got going now.

So yeah. If you (still) have your dreams, don't let them go for other people. Maybe, including your parents. Because the regret that comes with it, it's you that's going to feel it. For the rest of your life, probably.
Nothing hurts more than a, " Could Have Been ...... "
:')

x

[ images taken from here and here ]

Day 17 : Pablo Honey !

2010-11-13T22:44:00.001+07:00

OKAY !
It's Saturday night and it's raining outside.
I honestly got nothing interesting to talk about. I wanna do one of those " list " posts. You know the kind where you list the things you like/dislike and stuff. But....nope. Not in a mood for that too.

But hey !
Let's just stick to the randomness. For being random is free of charge. Right ? RIGHT ?

* hening *

Oh.. first thing that popped in my head !

PABLO HONEY.

Kenapa sih banyak banget yang nanyain apa artinya itu ? Tadi di shout-out box ada yang nanyain artinya apa.
* melambaikan tangan pada seseorang yang bernama Helen*

Di Twitter juga udah banyak yang nanyain, " Kenapa namanya jadi Pablo Honey ? ", " Pablo Honey itu apa ? ".

Ya ga bisa disalahin juga sih. Gak semua orang mencintai Radiohead seperti gue mencintai Radiohead. Jadi buat yang belum tau : Pablo Honey itu judul salah satu album Radiohead.
Kenapa gue make nama itu dimana-mana ? Ya ga tau juga sih kenapa. Pengen aja.

For me Radiohead is an awesome band. Thom Yorke is BRILLIANT. And Pablo Honey is one of the best album I've ever heard.
So...why not ?
Plus it sounds........absurdly beautiful.
:)
But of course, I'm keeping the " geek in the pink ". Don't make me choose between Yorke and Mraz ya !
I'mma whoop your ass if you do.
So there ya go !

Iya sih, sadar juga gue. Yang mau tau bukan sejuta umat juga. But hey ! I'm just trying to make a post here. For the sake of the program.

And while we're at it, kalian - kalian yang pada ngisi shout-out box itu kenapa banyak yang ninggalin link sih ? :(
Emang ga punya blog apa gimana ?
Kan pengen juga main-main ke blog orang lain ? :(
I might not be the nicest person on earth, but I don't mind making friends with other people.
:)

Alrighty.
Mudah-mudahan besok postingannya lebih niat lagi dari yang ini ya ? Apa besok-besok gue nyela-nyela orang lagi aja ? Tuh waktu nyela-nyela pemerintahan ama Tifatul aja pada ditanggepin. HAHAHA.
Di blog yang lama juga gitu sih. Banyak nyela, yang ngekomen banyak. Apa emang takdir gue adalah sebagai seseorang yang harus selalu nyela orang lain ?
Tapi kalo gitu ntar disindir-sindir lagi dong ama orang - orang yang ngerasa paling gak pernah nyela sedunia.
* nah kan ?! Nyela lagi deh *
HAHAHA.

Okaaaay~
Hope your Saturday night's better than mine.

x

Day 16

2010-11-12T21:37:00.004+07:00

So, hello again !

Postingan hari ke 15 lumayan bagus feedbacknya. Buktinya, itu ada sampe 2739 komen. * saya emang kurang pinter menghitung *
Well, yeah okay. Komen di blog sih gak banyak. Tapi respon dari YM dan Twitter, lumayanlaaah~ Which is cukup membuat gueeeeh terharuuuuu~ * mendadak lebay *
But, no --- really. Makasih buat yang udah baca, nge-RT link dan lain-lain.

* terdiam *
Lebaynya agak kronis ya ?

Oke. Abaikan.

Bagaimana hari Jumat teman-teman sekalian ?
Wah...semoga menyenangkan ya ? Semenyenangkan *is that even a word?* berjalan di tepi pantai di hari yang cerah.

Ha ? Apa ? Bagaimana dengan hari Jumat saya ? Wah... terima kasih loh sudah balik bertanya~ *delusional*
Hari Jumat saya biasa saja. Di kantor juga biasa saja. Semuanya biasa saja. *ngebosenin banget emang hidup gue*

Eh iya.
Malam ini The Temper Trap manggung yak ? Di Jekardaaaah~
NYET ! PENGEN NONTON BANGET GUUEEEH !
Udah hafal semua lagunya.
Udah nyiapin diri kalo mau diajak ikut ke London sama Dougy.
* diciprat asam sulfida *
Udah siapa kalau dilamar sama Dougy.
* diguyur bensin *
* DIBAKAR *

Pengen ke Jakarta lagi deh gue. :(
Pengen ketemu Rini lagi. Soalnya kemaren waktu JRL , ketemunya cuma sebentar karena dia sibuk juga ngurusin itu acara.
Dan kemaren gak ketemu ama Feby karena dia ada acara waktu gue ketemuan ama Lalla,Farah dan Dini. :(
Pengen ketemu kamu lagi juga. #eaaaaa
Eh apa gak usah ya ?
Apa iya ?
Ato gak usah ?
Iya ?
Nggak ?

* berenang di empang *

Hm...okay those are a few paragraphs of " wtf - is - she - trying - to - say " for you.
Honestly, I feel so lousy I feel like I need to pretend that I'm not feeling lousy. That,my friends, is the most pathetic state of mind one should ever go through. Having to pretend something you're not feeling just so you can avoid feeling what you're actually feeling. Yes. Even explaining that is such a mouthful. I hope you get my drift tho'. If not, well --- too bad.
And honestly, I'm currently hating the people around me. Like, you know , co - workers and shit. Well, not ALL of them. Most of them. It's like, I dunno. Just feeling like spitting on their faces. Or something. Like that.
Last honesty, I am noticing the changes you are giving me. I have been,for a while. Sort of making me feel like I am no different than a bubble gum. You chew, then spits after you're done with it. If that's the aim, congratulations ! You're getting close to having it.

NAHLOH !
Tiba - tiba curhat kan gue ?!
ahahaha.

Oke. Baiklah.
Sekian untuk hari ini.

x

Day 15 : Beginilah Kalau Di Indonesia

2010-11-11T21:50:00.006+07:00

Hello again.
Hari ini ngomongin yang agak serius ,boleh ya ? Boleh dong. Kan saya yang punya blog. Itu sih basa basi aja nanyain ,boleh apa nggak. * dilempar keranjang sampah *

Oke.
Kita mulai dari semalem deh ya. Ada temennya temen ( atau kalo ribet, anggap aja dia temen gue ) yang nikah ama WNA. Atau bahasa G4UL-nya, bule. Nah,dia mau ganti nama belakang tuh. Mau pake nama suaminya. Kedengerannya sih gampang ya ? Simpel. Sederhana. Tapi tunggu,kisanak. Ada pun kenyataannya tidaklah seperti itu ! Seorang istri yang mau ngurus pergantian nama ( dengan surat-surat yang lengkap - sekali lagi - LENGKAP ) ternyata lebih sulit dibanding mencari dimana sebenarnya letak otak anggota - anggota DPR kita. Yang paling SPEKTAKULER sejagat raya adalah, dia dimintain Rp.10.000.000,- untuk ngurusin itu KTP.
Nah,coba dihitung dulu itu angka "0" nya ada berapa.
Iyaaaak ! Betul. SEPULUH JUTA RUPIAH,SODARA - SODARA SEKALIAN.
Ya, dari sini terlihat wajah teman-teman sekalian terperangah seakan tak percaya. Kenapa bisa sampe' sebanyak itu ?

Jadi urutannya tuh begini , kurang lebih :

Harus lewat proses pengadilan utk ganti nama. Ini ternyata emang ada peraturannya, peraturan baru. Jadi nanti di akte kelahiran bakal ada semacam "catatan kecil" bahwa lo udah ganti nama which means, kalo lo cere ato suami lo meninggal, trus lo mau ganti nama lagi, lo musti ke pengadilan lagi. Which also means, nama pemberian ortu lo dulu itu, kagak ada artinya lagi setelah lo married. I personally think this is STUPID. Take off your top if you agree with me. Halah.
Abis itu, baru deh akte kelahiran diganti namanya baru ngurus KTP. Itu aja udah ribet banget kan ? Kenapa sih harus dibikin MAKIN ribet dengan ini - itu yang gak penting dan (sebenernya) GAK ada ?

Kalau kata "pihak yang bertanggung jawab" ke temen gue itu,
" Karena suami ibu orang asing jadi harus pake lawyer. Dan "harga" lawyer itu 10 juta."

Mari kita hening sejenak.

*hening*

Oke. Waktu hening selesai.

Cerita hari ini.

Temen yang lain *wah,temen gue banyak juga ternyata yak? Terharu*. She's a single mother with 2 daughters. Hari ini dia mau ngurus KTP anak bungsunya. Oh iya,kali aja situ pada belum tau, ngurus KTP itu harusnya gratis loh. GRA to the TIS.
Nah,temen gue ini langsung disuruh bayar Rp.850.000,-
* dipersilahkan kaget. Kalau mau. *
Karena ga terima *YAIYALAH!* , temen gue yang kebetulan orang media juga,ngeluarin kartu pers dan ngancem bakal membeberkan ini ke publik *maafkan bahasanya yang agak gimana gitu*, itu orang - orang kelurahan - yang gue yakin BANGET pasti gak ada yang ganteng - pada ngejawab (sambil ketawa),

" Peraturan mah udah lama tapi kan gak jalan. Semua orang juga tau. KPK juga tau."

Elahbuset !

Setelah ngotot-ngototan, akhirnya orang-orang kelurahan yang gue yakini pada jelek-jelek itu tadi ada yang bilang,

" Karena ibu udah gak punya suami, 500 aja deh. "

Mari kita hening lagi.

Ngotot-ngototan lagi, "harga" terakhir adalah 350 ribu. Last offer. Take it or no ID for your daughter. My friend caved. Which is... FUCK !

Cerita lainnya hari ini.

Tifatul Sembiring. * bulu kaki merinding *
Udah tau lah ya, kalo nama yang satu ini akan menjadi jaminan mutu untuk pure stupidity dan default annoyance. Udah tau juga lah ya cerita soal doi dan jabat tangannya yang fenomenal dengan si Michelle Obama itu.

Nah, Stephen Colbert decided to talk about that in his show. Made a joke about,

" I always imagine Indonesians communicating by banging coconuts to a log "

Belum nonton ? Silahkan klik di ~~hati gue~~ sini.

You think that's funny ?

I will give you a moment to laugh your ass off.

Buat sebagian orang,itu lucu. Buat sebagian lagi, it's harsh. Buat gue, it's harsh. I'm kind of offended. Kenapa ? Karena gue menolak jadi bahan olokan gitu hanya karena kelakuan SATU orang tolol.
HELL NO !

Ngetawain diri sendiri itu beda ama ngebiarin orang lain menghina kita.

Okeee.. negara ini emang ngehe. Contoh bisa dilihat dari dua cerita sebelumnya. Pemerintahannya juga ngehe. Sebagian besar orang-orangnya juga... aduh,ampun deh. Let's not go there ya.

Dan jangan paksa gue untuk ngomongin soal agama dan segala tai' kucingnya. No no.. Lagi males dilempari jumroh dan disembur air suci.

This country SUCKS. Tapi gue gak pernah bilang kalo SEMUA orang Indonesia itu kayak Tifatul (misalnya). Hey,at least the people that are my friends are different. Probably why I'm friends with them.

You wanna mock Tifatul Sembiring ? BE MY GUEST ! By all means, I'll gladly mock him with you.
You wanna mock this - so called - democracy and a bag full of bullshit called the law in this country ? Yes, please do that.
You wanna make fun of those - self proclaimed - religious people whom (apparently) still believes in superficial crap more than me who isn't really down with the whole religion concept ? OH YES, DO THAT TOO.

But if you think it's okay for someone like Stephen Colbert to say that we are ALL still living in a prehistoric era because of ONE useless mortal, well ----- sorry,dude. I'm not with you.

Bukan mau sok sensi. Bukan mau sok nasionalis ato apalah. Ini bukan soal bela negara atau semacamnya. Gue emang ga mau aja dikata-katain ama orang berdasarkan sesuatu yang nggak gue lakuin.
CIH !
Siape eluuu ?

Kalo ada yang nganggep itu lucu, ya gapapa juga looooh. Beneran.
Tapi, jangan langsung ,semacam menghakimi orang-orang yang gak terima.
You have your own reaction, I have my own.
Don't you dare trying to tell me how I should or should not react.
I would find that REALLY funny if he didn't say " INDONESIANS ". Tifatul aja kaleeee ,jeeek.
Ga mau cari ribut loh gue ini ya. ~~Mau cari pacar aja sih sebenernya.~~ Just saying what I want to say.

Iya deeeh..mungkin selera humor gue gak se'keren' lo,lo,lo dan lo semua. Kurang "amerika" mungkin. Maap deh. Gue orang Inggris sih soalnya ya.

* gelendotan di pundak Pangeran William *
* ketiban pohon kelapa *

Jadi apa inti dari cerita - cerita ini ?
........ gak ada sih ya. Iseng aja.

* dikeroyok sejuta umat *

No, no.
Intinya gini :

Itu mahasiswa-mahasiswa yang kemaren demo anti-pemerintahan apalah tai' kuda itu, kalo pun nanti harus nelan ludah sendiri dan ikut berebutan pengen jadi PNS, tolong ya... TOLONG banget deh.. MAKE A CHANGE ! Don't give me shit like, " Kita kan cuma ngikutin yang "di atas" ". Eh,nyet..gini deh.. Kalo yang "di atas" itu pada berendem di minyak panas, situ mau ikutan juga hah ? Waktu kuliah aja pada sok idealis apalah segala, giliran udah lulus, malah kelakuan jadi kayak orang yang ga pernah sekolah. Bayangin kalo semua orang muda itu punya niat yang sama untuk gak ngikutin contoh buruk yang dikasih ama para orang tua itu, bohong banget kalo perubahan yang dipengenin itu gak didapet. Awas aja kalo ternyata lo yang paling kenceng ngatain gue yang gak nasionalis ini akhirnya jadi orang yang paling tega "nyiksa" sesama orang Indonesia. Awas aja deh.
Untuk merubah sistem yang udah lama dijalanin emang GAK mudah. Tapi bukan berarti itu bisa jadi alasan untuk tetap hidup dengan sistem itu. Apalagi kalau tau itu SALAH. I'm not gonna brag about the things I have done to avoid corruption and shit. But I can say that I've done my best. And I believe I can do better. Kalo gue yang sering dikatain ini itu sama orang - orang yang gue kenal di Twitter karena dianggap ga nasionalis aja bisa, lo lo padeeeee yang koar-koar nya paling gede soal nasionalisme, masa gak bisa ? Idih..
Laughing at yourself is slightly different from letting others laughing at you , in your face, for something you did NOT do. Slightllly different. I'd like to remember that very thin line. Even if it means my sense of humor isn't as cool as yours. Apalagi kalo penyebabnya itu orang - orang macam si Menteri itu. Cih. Amit amit jabang apaajadeh.
Yes. This country is fucked up.
Kayaknya bakal ribet deh kalo ntar gue harus ganti nama belakang jadi "Mraz". #eaaaaaaaaa #DiiketDiTiangListrik #DilempariKulitDurian

Maap kalo postingan kali ini agak sedikit terdengar emosi. Maklumlah,namanya juga anak muda.

Dan hari ini sepertinya akan diakhiri dengan Pak Tifatul yang "digoda" oleh seorang pornstar asal Norwegia yang bernama @vickyvette di Twitter. KOCAK ! Ngakak muncrat-muncrat gue. Semuncrat-muncratnya-muncrat. Berikut beberapa contoh tweet Mbak Vicky untuk Pak Tiffie :

BE RIGHT BACK !
MAU NGAKAK GULING - GULING SAMPE NIAS DULU !

PS : Semoga si Menteri sedang tidak mimisan karena baru melihat avatar Vicky setelah membaca tweet-tweet beliau itu. Semoga....................

x

Day 14

2010-11-10T22:37:00.000+07:00

I've been listening to a lot of Eminem today. It's like, I'm rekindling our love. Yes, he was my God back in high-school. I don't care about what people say about him. For me his a poetic, genius. A motherfuckin' hot one, I might add.
I ate a lot of pizza today. Well, not alone. Shared 'em with Biby and Fata. But still... SHIT ! THAT WAS A LOT OF PIZZA ! *burps*
I need to take more photos. Not of myself. You know, like photographs of ... stuff.
I need to FIND THE TIME to read. I haven't finish reading a single book for a long time. Tsk.
I need to not give a fuck a little bit more. I'm a bit of an optimist for this one.
I need to be more creative as for the things I'm gonna post here. Hell, I still got, like, 16 days to go and I'm already posting shit. Sorry.
I need to get Robert Hoffman out of my head.

That will be all.

Day 13

2010-11-09T22:39:00.002+07:00

Hai.

Sumpah deh,sebenernya gak tau mau nulis apaan. Blank. Bukan berarti gak galau loh ya. Itu sih tetep. Galau is my middle name. Unee Galau Adisti.

* dipersilahkan tertawa *

Jadi,saya bakal ngalor ngidul ga jelas aja deh ya. Kalo ga suka, silahkan keluar lewat jendela disebelah kiri.

Senin dan Selasa ini lumayan nyenengin. Kantor ga terlalu rame karena pada ke Bali semua. Gak semua sih. Sebagian aja. Ngerayain ultah si bos. Kemaren diajakin juga. Tiket dibayarin,penginapan udah beres. Tinggal berangkat dan hura-hura. Tapi ga tau kenapa, males aja *CIEH. Sombong gitu ceritanya gue*

Tapi ternyata gak ikut pergi itu nyenengin juga. Senen kemaren bisa ngabisin waktu bareng Biby, si graphic designer baru. She's really fun. Bareng dia tuh gue *iye,lagi pengen pake "gue" nih. Boleh ya?* bisa ngomongin soal art dan design sampe lama banget. Fotografi juga. Seneng deh kalo ketemu temen yang kayak gitu.

Trus dari siang sampe sore, sibuk photo booth-ing bareng. Yah, istilahnya eat salary blind deh (makan gaji buta,maksudnya). But it was fun. Took my mind off of some things. Thanks, By. :)

Dan hari ini, dihabiskan bareng Fata. YouTube-ing dance videos dari Step Up 2 dan 3. Haha. Emang lagi agak-agak candu Step Up sih gue. Si Fata ternyata lebih parah candunya. Sampe hafal gitu ama lagu-lagu dan gerakan-gerakannya. Ya emang ga dipraktekin juga sih ama dia ya. But I know he has memorized almost ALL the moves. Which is pretty scary. Dan karena YouTube-ing secara liar,tak terkendali dan penuh nafsu itu, gue jadi naksir sama Robert Hoffman. Itu loh, yang jadi Chase di Step Up 2. Ternyata dia emang jago banget nge-dance nya. And he's also very funny. Gue ngakak muncrat - muncrat deh ngeliat video yang INI . HAHAHA. Jadi sekarang, selain Adam G. Sevani, I got my eyes on you as well, Robert.

Dan, belakangan ini, gue emang lagi menjalin hubungan yang lumayan intens dengan dua manusia ini. *bahasanya tolong biasa aja,nyet* Yah,setelah kemaren-kemaren ditinggal massal ama temen-temen lama, mungkin ini penggantinya. MUNGKIN loh ya.

Intinya, dua hari ini cukup menyenangkan. Terutama karena, hari ini, kita udah ngobrol lagi. Hehe. Menyenangkan ! Karena saya lumayan kangen sama situ. Ehem.

Eh iya. Hari ini juga pada heboh karena si Obama #NadaSokAkrab #BiarKayakTemen2SDnya.

Ya gak papa juga sih sebenernya ya. Gak kenal ini gue sama dese. Tapi setuju ama Miund, yang jadi hiburan tuh sebenernya adalah orang - orang yang mendadak berlomba-lomba nunjukkin kalo dia kenal baik BANGET ama si Obama itu. Padahal, berani taruhan gue, setengahnya itu mungkin gak pernah ngajakin dia ngobrol waktu sekolah dulu. Setengahnya lagi mungkin.....ya....begitulah. Bukannya mau negative thinking ya, tapi kalau diliat dari ke-lebay-an itu muke' muke' yang pada nongol di tipi, cih ! Ragu seragu-ragunya ragu deh gue.

Tapi yah,namanya juga manusia ya ? Kalo gak kayak gitu, kapan lagi itu orang - orang pada bisa "masuk tipi". Iya kan ?

Ntar kalo gue beneran ngetop, beneran dilamar Jason Mraz *mulai ngigo*, gue mau liat mulut - mulut siapa aja yang berani ngomong kalo dia kenal baik banget ama gue. That should be interesting.

Makanya, segera lamar akyu, Jason.

#eaaaaaa

#KetibanPohonMangga

Day 12: Space Bound

2010-11-08T23:28:00.001+07:00

Today feels different. There's something missing. I know what it is, I just can't define it. Like, standing in a gigantic room filled with void. You run around the room just to tire yourself out. So that, maybe - just maybe - the void will go unnoticed. Failed. Everything just tastes bitter.

You know what the hardest ? To control your own fear. One of the biggest and most powerful demon everyone owns in themselves. One, out of the many demons.

Knowing what is inside your head and not knowing what to do with them. Wanting to fight and feeling powerless - not by choice - at the same time. It's a clutter.

I can't feel my heartbeat anymore.

Again.

" Promise me if I cave in and break
And leave myself open that I won't be makin' a mistake //
Just promise me you'll think of me
Every time you look up in the sky and see a star"

Eminem - Space Bound

[ image taken from DevianArt ]

Day 11 : The Movie of Life

2010-11-07T23:15:00.000+07:00

If you want to make a movie about your life, how would it be ?
How would you start ?
From a happy childhood ?
A not so happy one ?
Depressing teen years ?
The moment you decided you're gonna grow up ( which can be at any age ) ?
When you found happiness ?
When you surrender to sadness and know you are not letting go ?

Will it be a comedy, drama, horror, musical or ... something else ?

How will it end ?
Happy ?
Sad ?
Or a little bit of both ?

Who will direct it ?
:)

This post is just really random. Something I've been asking myself since I don't remember when. Maybe since I realized how addicted I am to movies. Probably around Junior High School years.
If you don't like movies, I'm sorry, I find you weird. Movies, books and music. Those three things are like oxygen to me. Well, them and a pack of Marlboro of course. Oh and a cup of coffee. And... um.... yeah, that'll do.

If ever someone decided to make a movie about me, I want Woody Allen to direct it. I want Dakota Fanning to play me. I want Radiohead, Marilyn Manson , Limp Bizkit , Jason Mraz and 2Pac in the soundtrack. And while the credit title is rolling, I want Stereophonic's Maybe Tomorrow. Oh, and I want Bradley Cooper to play as my boyfriend. Well, maybe just an imaginary boyfriend. Doesn't matter.

Yes, I have it all figured out.

x

Day 10

2010-11-06T21:04:00.001+07:00

i'm sorry for everything.

i will try to fix it.

not just for you.

but for me as well.

ps : I miss you already.

Day 9 : Imagine

2010-11-05T23:45:00.004+07:00

Imagine this :
living a life that isn't yours since you can't remember when. Becoming a total disappointment in everything you do. To live a life with no hopes nor dreams. To never be good enough. To believe, you're nothing but shit.

Imagine this :
being raped and then treated like pile of shit. To be considered nothing but used goods. Repeatedly. Past, present and , pretty sure , future. And how people will only give you two reactions : to walk away in disgust or to take advantage.

Imagine this :
being that person who always take the blame for someone else's act of wrong. You (always) fall for someone who has been treated like shit by others, put a smile on your face when they - indirectly - treats you the same. You know, like a cycle. Not quite like a wheel. Because, wheels - they turn. You might actually get the chance to be on top. But not this one. Just a cycle. You always have to be one being responsible - in a way or another - on what other people have done to someone else. You are never good enough. Never will be.No matter what you do. Just a quick stop until one finds someone who is. And leave you with a face smeared with shit. Someone else's.

Imagine this :
having to fight your demons when you have nothing left to fight them with. The addiction. The emotional roller coaster. The masochism. The voices in your head. The fighting of the things you can't see. Can't touch. Can't punch in the face. Can't stab in the heart. Can't smash. Can't.

Imagine this :
toying around with death just feel alive.

Imagine this :
sleeping with the scent of blood, glued to your nose.

Imagine this :
crying your heart out because you've done yourself wrong. For hurting yourself. For nothing taking good care of it. For not wanting it.

Imagine all of those things then try to keep on walking. Don't worry, it's possible. You can. You'll stumble and fall. You get up and force yourself to walk again. Repeated. Until, eventually , you just don't feel like getting up again. That, even the thought of getting up tires you. That, all you want to do is just to stay down and let yourself die. Because ,for some people, to not fight is their last way of fighting.

Imagine that.

* compiled from life stories of friends. try finding out which one is mine. and no, you're not gonna win a key chain if you got it right *

" It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back
And never moving forward so there'd never be a past " - Linkin Park, Easier To Run

PS : FUCK YOU, UNIVERSE AND YOUR STUPID SENSE OF HUMOR ! FUCK YOU AND STUPID JOKES, GOD ! FUCK YOU !

x

Day 8 : Pablo (Kid), (A) Honey

2010-11-04T21:34:00.001+07:00

Yesterday, she decided to spend the day alone.
With herself.
And her iPod.
No,wait.
She wasn't alone.
Thom Yorke was with her.
Reminding her that she's just a creep.
That, just because you (she) feel it,doesn't mean it's there.
And, for a minute there, I lost myself. I lost myself, he said.
She knows what he meant by that.
Very well.
She wonders, " why should I believe myself, not you ? "
She doesn't know.
All she knows is, " I can see me drowning. Caught in the fire "
That made her feel like screaming out loud, " IT WEARS ME OUT ! IT WEARS ME OUT ! "
Wishing, " If I could be who you wanted. All the time "
She's being idiotique , again.
" I'm not here. This is not happening. I'm not here. "
She wanted to know how to disappear completely.
Because she wants no surprises.
For this will be her final fit.
Her last belly ache.
No alarms and no surprises.
Please.
She begged.

Thank you for a lovely, excruciating day,Thom.

I fucking love you ! You know that right ?

You always know how to fuck me real good in the head.

Kisses.

x

[ quoted some of Radiohead's lyrics from different songs. images taken from tumblr ]

Day 7 : Messed Up

2010-11-04T03:01:00.004+07:00

Okay. I'm starting to mess up the program. I know. I'm sorry. It's just, I've been dealing with a lot SHIT lately. Both my own and others. Others means friends. I don't really take care of other people's shit, unless I consider them friends. I've been sleep deprived, skipping meals - not that I intend to - , throwing up and just let this tiring disorder takes over me. No, I'm not talking about bulimia or anorexia. No proper bulimic or anorexic own this pair of cheeks that I got.
Hence, I can't think. No seriously, I can't. The only thing that might make my brain work properly is if I could be with Rini , drinking beers. Well, hard liquor would do even better. But if I can't get that, beers would just do.
I'm disliking a lot of people lately. Not hate, just dislike.
I'm tired of how most people can be so annoyingly demanding to be under the spotlight when that's the only thing they've been getting. And when I fail to give them that, they lash out like a bunch of stupid bitches. Sorry, I know we're friends before, but I've been through a phase of my life where I had NO friends at all. It's bad, but not that bad. I can go through it again if I must.
As long as I have my laptop, books, my tons of DVDS and iPod, I can survive.
I've given up being overly responsible over other people's lives since long time ago. I will try to always be there for my friends, but I ain't cleaning up your shit man ! Seriously.

Okay. Another random lash out. Told you my brain isn't working. I'm yappin' about something that happened two weeks ago. Tsk.

Sidenote :

hey you, androgynous boy. I miss you when I'm like this. When this bipolar starts to take it's turn on me. I feel like you're one of the (VERY) few people that knows how it feels. Because you've been there. Because you won't be one of those people that will say, " Naah, that's just you having your PMS " or saying they understand when they actually have no fucking idea.
I've been feeling quite suicidal again lately, you know ? Of course you don't. Even-though, you never "handle" it well when I'm like this - you're not exactly the "good listener" type, but knowing that there's someone else that knows how it feels, is nice. We're growing apart pretty nice now huh ? I don't know why. Maybe you do.
Wait, maybe I do. People kept walking away from me. That's why.
Missing the random, absurd chats, Kiwi. :)

x

Day 5 and 6

2010-11-03T00:30:00.003+07:00

I accidentally deleted my "Day 5" post. Yes, I can be *that* stupid sometimes. So, I'll just do a two posts recap. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to do that, but....at least I'm sticking with the program.

Anyways,
last night I got really pissed because some whore decided to mess with me and managed to put me and him in quite an argument. All because the whore THOUGHT I was talking about her.
Now, you see, this kind of people, I can't stand. The kind that is sure, the fuckin' universe evolves around her. Guess what, it does NOT. Suck on that reality for a change.

I am the kind of people who always try not to mess with other people's business. So when other people messes with mine, that's like....asking me to stab his/her eyes with a fork. Oh, believe me when I say, I don't give a damn who that person might be. So, that's something I'd like to put out there. I don't take shit from anyone. Well, except my parents. Because, well...they're my parents. D'uh !

But hey, guess what,whore ? We're alright now. Now, not only that you are cheap, you're also a loser. How's that for a life ? I know you've unfollowed me and shit, but --- I don't know, maybe it's my overly narcissistic side talking -- just in case you decided to stalk me some more and stumbled on this blog and post, please stop trying to sound like me. Seriously. You should just continue thinking with whatever it is you got between your thighs. I don't find copycats flattering. Oh yeah, I do notice what you're trying to do there. Told ya, I might not be pretty, but I sure ain't dumb. Unlike you who is not one thing, but sure is the other.

One more thing, stop acting AS IF , you're the victim. Just because you're a girl - a dumb one I might add - doesn't mean you get to play that card EVERY FREAKING TIME. Geeez. Trash.
Here, lemme tell women something, it's not about WHAT you "sell", it's about HOW you "sell" it. If you can understand what that means, there's a big chance you'll avoid turning yourself in to a ..... trash.

Second, I'm starting to get the feeling that there are a lot of potential psychos out there, eh ? Maybe it's because of the excessive hours spent watching those horse-crap sinetron on tv. You know, being in Indonesia and all.
I have my own shit to deal with myself. But, psychos --- that's like a scary level. The whore I mentioned earlier is one of them. Obviously.

Third, this is such a boring post. So I'll just end it right here.
* yeah, I'm still a bit pissed off . And this is me, NOT giving a fuck*

x

Day 4 : The Friend, Not The Enemy

2010-10-31T22:57:00.000+07:00

I slept at 4 am last night. Nothing new. I have a very messed up sleeping hours for years. Woke up around 8, had breakfast, watched an episode of Lost (told ya that was my new addiction) and fell back to sleep for around an hour or so. I had a dream about you, B. In that dream, I saw the places we went to together when I was in Jakarta. I saw you. Saw your smile. I remember touching your face. Images. It was a muted dream. I woke up and thought, " Oh okay. That was unexpected ". Then, I fell back to sleep again. And I dreamt about you again. This time it was mixed with anonymous locations. But you were still there. Second time I woke up, I felt this pain in my chest. This pounding. Suffocated me in a way.

Am I missing you that much ?

Or was it just because I am starting to believe that you too, will take me for granted ?

Even if you don't mean to.

I swear I was not going to write this down. But I can't stop thinking about it. Even now, my chest still hurts. I suddenly can't reach you. Guessing you turned off your phone since this afternoon. Because before, we're still communicating. That "turn off the phone" was suppose to be MY tactic. But, okay.. you can have it for now. I'll let you have your alone time. Hope you'll better after and (still) remember that I'm the friend, not the enemy. And also, if she can't understand you, doesn't mean that I can't too. I will die trying. For you. That's how persistent I am. And that often leads me to stupidity as well. Meh.

Don't let it bring you down,B.

>:D<

Day 3 : Lost

2010-10-30T22:51:00.002+07:00

Lost as in, I have no idea where I'm going.
Lost as in, I feel like I'm feeling some things that I shouldn't.
And that it would be better to - somewhat - deny them.
Just like he's doing.
If not deny, pretend.
Pretend that I don't feel them.
Or in his words, " Heartless because I need to be so, as much as possible, or I'll drawn in my own emo feelings. "
Yeah. Sure. It's all about you,b.
It's always about everyone else....but me.
Why should people give a fuck about how I feel,right ?
Because, that would just be so fucking wrong.
So....yeah.
I'll just stop right there. I'm pretty messed up at the moment. Wasn't planning to post down stuff like "this". But this is what I'm feeling. I should have just keep my mouth shut and wait for everything to evaporate. That's what I'm good at. We're gonna go hardcore emo tomorrow, okay ?

But hey! On a lighter note, I've been watching "Lost" for the last two days. Yeap, I'm joining the crowd a bit late. Thought Matthew Fox will be the only one stealing my attention like he did in,"Party of Five"but...looks like, he got a competition. The competition is ... *drum rolls* , Josh Holloway !

I , is a sucker for a great pair of eyes. See those eyes.

I'm sucked.

I'd give my iPod just to be that particular left hand.

A bit lower tho'. Please.

And if you haven't noticed, he got dimples. DIMPLES.

On BOTH cheeks.

Okay. I am now moist in all the right places. Thank you, Josh.
And if you don't know, his wife is Indonesian. An original Jakartans. Lucky bitch. And people told me that there's such thing as justice. Meeeeeeeh.

( images are taken from tumblr )

Day 2 : Simply Blue

2010-10-29T21:35:00.006+07:00

Hari ini Java SoulNation dimulai. Jujur,waktu ngeliat playlistnya saya agak ngerasa, " Err.....oke deh ". Tapi waktu ngeliat ada nama "Simply Red", I was freaking excited. Apalagi waktu tau kalau penampilan dia itu bakal masuk dalam farewell tour-nya. Abis itu, no more Simply Red. Sumpah saya heboh sendiri waktu tau itu. Sama hebohnya waktu tau kalau The Smashing Pumpkins dan Arkarna bakal nampil di JRL.

Tapi, sekarang ini nih.. jam 21.20 WIB ini (doi perform jam 20.45 WIB katanya), saya malah ga bisa nonton. :(
Padahal kemaren saya yang repot sendiri ngurusin biar majalah tempat saya kerja bisa jadi Media Partner nya trus bisa dapet akses yang agak lebih mendingan dari sekedar Media non-Partner kayak untuk JRL. And I made it ! Saya berhasil ngeyakinin pihak Java untuk ngijinin kita jadi Media Partner walaupun waktu untuk mendaftar itu udah lewat. * Makasih loh,Mas Echa :) *

I MADE IT AND I CAN'T BE THERE !

Alasannya :
1) Masalah budget dari kantor ( yang sebenernya siap saya atasi dengan pemotongan gaji. SERIUS! )
2) Ijin dari Mama saya yang berpendapat kalau belakangan saya lebih sibuk ngurusin kerjaan daripada JODOH. " Kemaren kan baru dari Jakarta. SEMINGGU. Trus abis itu jarang banget di rumah. Cuma buat mandi ama tidur aja. Kapan mikirin diri sendiri ?! Kapan mikirin JODOH ?! " Aduh,PLISDEH,MA !

Jadinya yang diutus buat ngeliput cuma satu reporter merangkap fotografer dari majalah. Sekalian juga kemaren dia ngeliput Vampire Weekend.
I thought I would be fine. Tapi ga tau kenapa, waktu bangun tadi pagi,langsung keinget kalau hari ini Simply Red bakal manggung. And knowing I can't see that, I can't be part of history of watching one performance out of his farewell tour, I suddenly feel sad. I mean, it's SIMPLY fucking RED ! MAN ! Gila ! Saya dengerin Mick Hucknall udah lama banget. Saya masih ingat lagu pertama yang saya denger dan langsung suka adalah, "Fairground". Circa 95 - 96,kayaknya. Dari situ, langsung cari - cari lagunya yang lain. Dan suka, sampai sekarang. Waktu masih siaran dulu juga pasti selalu muterin lagunya dia. For me, his music is simply beautiful. But not cheesy nor common. The sound,the voice, the words. And there's this essence of (the) 90s in it. I dunno. Maybe it's just me. I don't have any "special stories/memories" with his songs. I just love 'em. I love him. Mick Hucknall. Musicality speaking of course. Apparently, it breaks my heart not being able to see him.

It's like, when I got the chance to watch Toni Braxton and Babyface. Seeing the two musicians whose music you've been listening and enjoying for years, LIVE. That's one of the best feelings ever. Not being able to see Simply Red, sucks. Big time. THAT'S how I'm feeling right now. Especially because this will be his last performance everywhere. No more. This is a farewell tour after all. Oh well.... I'm not sure if you can feel how I'm feeling right now tho'.

Ah,fuck.
Sedih. Banget. Beneran.

Simply Red made me simply --- blue.
:(

" And I love the thought of coming home to you
Even if I know we can't make it
I love the thought of giving hope to you
Just a little ray of light shining through " -- Simply Red, Fairground.

x

( images are taken from last.fm )